Depression and Mormon Women

Depression in Mormon Women

'Molly Mormon' is the perfect woman. She never raises her voice. Her house is always sparkling clean and she excels in every church calling. She's understanding and supportive of her husband and children. In essence, 'Molly Mormon' is the ideal wife, mother, helpmate, PTA leader, quilter, baker, and casserole maker; she is consistently well-groomed, cheerful and bright (Egan 1).

For many Latter Day Saint (LDS) women, the overwhelming pressure to be 'Molly Mormon' is unbearable. LDS women are likely to develop depression due to the demanding and stressful role of being a Mormon mother in the twenty-first century. The standard answer for LDS women's high depression rate is that they are overworked, heading large families, and struggling to meet expectations of perfection that are too high, said Dr. John H. Dickey, Ph.D. and professor of psychology at Idaho State University during an interview.

The subject of LDS women suffering from depression is a thorny matter; the LDS community bristles at its mention while many women feel the grip of the icy fingers of depression grow increasingly tighter. "In any dominant culture, particularly a religious one," Dickey speculates, "there's a lot of striving for an ideal that's often unobtainable, whether it's a spiritual one or has to do with lifestyle. The body needs an escape valve." In most cases, the women suffering from depression don't have an escape valve, let alone any idea of where to find

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one, instead they often self-destruct with prescription drugs.

Anna Figureoa, 59, has kept her feelings suppressed for most of her life. Figureoa's bloodshot eyes extended out of their socket as she struggled to recall how her depression began. She bit her fingernails, then stuffed them ashamedly between her ratty couch cushions before revealing she spent her childhood and teenage years in foster homes. Five different men, including three who were LDS, molested Figureoa repeatedly. She blamed those experiences on herself, thus starting the swift spiral downward into despair.

After attempting suicide for the eleventh time last November, she was sent to Sacramento, Calif. to a depression specialist. Everyday for two weeks, Figureoa underwent Electroconvulsive therapy (ECT), in which electric currents are briefly applied to the brain. This procedure is used to help ease only the most severe cases of depression. It had no effect on Figureoa except to rob her of memory and personality.

Figureoa's marriage to a Vietnam War veteran who suffered from Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome began to crumble quickly in the late 1970's. The physically and mentally abusive relationship took it's toll and Figureoa succumbed to a nervous breakdown. Years later, Figureoa was relieved when her husband began collecting movies instead of abusing her.

When she was no longer able to take care of her two young daughters she placed them foster homes. The self-inflicted loss of her children only deepened the wounds created from her dysfunctional marriage. Figureoa fell away from the LDS church and began smoking again. She choked down quarter sized pills morning and night in attempt to control her depression. Profuse sweating, as well as muscle twitching, are some of the side effects of Figureoa's medications. Her upper lip twitched when she stated that the sweating only got worse. She convinced herself

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that this was what she deserved for being such a bad child and incompetent mother.

Pain flickered behind her eyes as she began viciously ripping at her nails with her mouth again. Figureoa bit her nails because she quit smoking five years ago during the process of becoming reactivated in the church in order to gain a temple recommend. She only made it to the temple once. She sat at home during ward temple trips, explaining to herself again how God does not love her, therefore she is too unworthy to enter His house.

Figureoa was still suffering from severe depression in early June 2004, and was finally successful in taking her life that same month.

Figureoa's story is an extreme case because different women are impacted differently by depression, but many LDS women share similar stories. For some women, to strive to be an excellent Relief-Society-oriented homemaker, mother of six, and faithful church worker is like Oprah Winfrey trying play professional basketball or Katie Couric trying to be happy as a seamstress. Many of these women discover that the "Superwoman powers" they pray for are what keeps them depressed. Dr. Curtis Canning of the Utah Psychiatric Association says that LDS women are more frequently surrendering to the concept that they have to be superwomen because the woman across the street "has three more kids than you and her hair is always in place" (qtd. in Cart 4). They begin to focus only on keeping up with the Jones'.

Continuously comparing oneself to others and over-achieving are not a practices endorsed by the LDS church. In fact, in his article "Our Strengths Can Become Our Downfall" Elder Dallin H. Oaks states that the "devilish diversions" of many church-goers are "the desire to sacrifice more than is needful, excess in giving, and inordinate church service" (12).

Yet the restrictive thought process these women share doesn't allow them to alleviate

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their depression by changing their view of their role of homemaker and mother in the church. Unhappy LDS women sense that something is fundamentally wrong with thinking that all females are divinely recruited as soldiers in the army of God, recruited merely to scrub floors and pick up the children from soccer practice. Dickey explains that the women who experience the severest strain in the harness feel the hymn, "Put Your Shoulder To The Wheel" (Thompson) should be titled, "Push Your Shoulder To The Yolk," even "Haw!" or "Mush!"

Women interviewed by Dickey say they've noted that, more and more, LDS men chosen for ward and stake leadership positions are the types who though personable and administratively skilled, are sometimes too narrow in awareness to be mindful of this monotony, even after it has been brought repeatedly to their attention. The lack of observation and sensitivity from males holding leadership positions results in

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