An Analysis of This Boy's Life

An Analysis of "This Boy's Life"

"This Boy's Life" is a memoir about a young man's struggles with

his own identity. The first section of the chapter titled, "Uncool", is a

good illustration of how the young Tobias Wolff feared other peoples

perceptions of his true self. The fact that Wolff and his two friends,

Taylor and Silver, were raised without true father figures in their lives

played a major role in the behavior and character of these three young men.

Through othering and double consciousness, the boys came to realize their

weaknesses. In an effort to hide their weaknesses, they participated in

deviant behavior in order to quench their thirst for power and strength.

Tobias Wolff's intentions in writing such a powerful book were to find out

how he became the man he is today, and as a healing tool for him to finally

let go of the pain he felt as a child.

The absence of a strong father figure in the lives of Jack, Taylor,

and Silver had a critical effect on their emotional health. Taylor's

father never returned home from Korea, Silver's father left his mother and

remarried, and Jack's father lived in Connecticut. A boy learns a lot from

just being around his father. He learns what a man is and how they should

act, whether it's good or bad. These three boys never had that experience

from a father on a regular basis. Everything that they learned at home,

they learned from their mother. By no fault of their mothers, the three

boys developed a sensitive feminine side. Deep down, almost subconsciously,

they were all aware of their sensitivity, which made them feel weak. Their

feelings of inferiority showed with their shyness around girls, their

attempts at looking cool in the mirror, and in their teasing of one another.

A good example of their uneasiness around girls is shown as Wolff

described Taylor's sisters, "As girls went they were nothing special, but

they were girls, and empowered by that fact to render judgment on us. They

could make us cringe just by rolling their eyes. Silver and I were afraid

of them..."(pg. 40). The fact that the girls were "nothing special" yet

"Silver and I were afraid of them" is evidence of their emotional frailty.

Jack's fear of the way others perceived him was a major cause for his

nervousness.

By way of "othering" and "double-consciousness", the three boys

were made aware of their inferiority. The idea of someone seeing through

Jack's facade made him very nervous. One person who could see the real

Jack was Marian, and Jack was fully conscious of her ability to do so.

"Marian and I disliked each other. Later we both found reasons for it, but

our dislike was instinctive and mysterious...She knew I didn't like her,

and that I was not the young gentlemen I pretended to be"(pg. 38). There

was nothing "mysterious" or "instinctive" about their dislike for one

another. Jack didn't like her simply because he resented the fact that she

knew of his weaknesses. Jack's association with Taylor and Silver also

alerted him to the fact that he wasn't tough or cool. A good example of

"othering" is that Jack saw flaws in himself by noticing the flaws that

existed in his friends. Jack wanted to be admired. He wanted people to be

jealous of his life the way that he was jealous of others, but when he

looked at his loser friends he knew that wasn't possible. "Taylor was a

dreamy thin-skinned boy who cried easily..."(pg. 39). Silver was also

guilty of being weak, "...a shameless coward when his big mouth brought

trouble down on us"(pg. 40). When Jack looked at his two best friends and

saw a "shameless coward" and a "thin-skinned boy who cried easily" he had

no choice but to come to the realization that he was no better.

The three boys, in an attempt to hide their weaknesses, resorted to

deviant behavior to experience what they lacked; strength, power, and a

sense of belonging. Since they had none of these characteristics, they

admired Nazis for the fact that they, at one time, had an abundance of

power. The feeling of belonging to something was also attractive. They

watched television programs about the Nazis and failed to see the wrong in

them. They misinterpreted the whole purpose of these shows. "We saw that

the real point was to celebrate snappy uniforms and racy Mercedes staff

cars and great marching, thousands of boots slamming down together on

cobbled streets while banners streamed overhead