The Separation and Interaction of Murasaki's Public and Private Identities

In The Diary of Lady Murasaki by Murasaki Shikibu, through criticism of court life and analysis of her own well being as well as the behavior of others, Murasaki displays keen awareness that she is miserable and unfit where she is but is incapable of escaping it. Though she is "vexed at the pettiness of court life" (Diary 35) and analyzes others with a superior outlook, she admits to her own insignificance and submission to the social system that she despises. Murasaki is obliged to the power and system that she does not respect but inevitably follows and promotes. Though she expresses her distaste for life and claims "everything conspires to make [her] unhappy" (Diary 59), she ultimately "[retains] a deep sense of attachment to this world."(Diary 59) The social system in court thus succeeds in containing public order by suppressing individual expression; the Diary at its root is a critique of the relationship between social expectations and private emotion in the court system, explored through the complex, contradictory and often schizophrenic nature of Murasaki's emotions caused by the gap between the public image Murasaki must retain and her private frustration.

The most outspoken and obvious critique Murasaki makes of court life is of its superficial entertainment and experience. She spends much of the Diary describing trivial matters in which she immerses herself in order to distract herself from her private misery. Countless recollections of details of clothing, architecture, interior decoration and other surroundings are given, which clearly illustrates the attention she pays to them. She describes this act as existing "from day to day in listless fashionÐ'...doing little more than registering the passage of time," (Diary 33) for she found "solace for [her] idleness in foolish wordsÐ'...tasting the bitterness of life to the very full." (Diary 34) Almost the entire first half of the Diary is more or less devoted to describing the celebrations of the birth of a prince, without any deep analysis or provocation of thought. That is exactly the way she paints herself in the social hierarchy of the court, avoiding revealing her intellect and hesitating to do "even those things I should be able to do quite freely, only too aware of my own servants' prying eyes." (Diary 56) She explains that she does not say what she wants because "there would be no point in explaining to people who would never understand."(Diary 56) As a result, "all [those in court] see of [her] is a faÐ"§ade." (Diary 56) Because of this superficiality, Murasaki finds court life to be irritating and reveals her frustration in private writing.

Derived from her dissatisfaction of court life, Murasaki develops a private identity separate from that of her public. She writes in her Diary what she would not reveal to others, creating a dynamic of character as well as inevitably reminding herself of her loneliness. She "[criticizes] others from various angles," (Diary 54) and questions why she should "hesitate to say what she wants to." (Diary 58) She hides her knowledge of Chinese but looks at her Chinese books in private to ease her misery. However, what Murasaki does in public and what she says in private are hardly opposites or completely separate. There is a more complex relationship between the two than simply being different from each other.

Murasaki constantly complains and expresses her loneliness and despair, but these complaints come not from attempted dissociation from the social system of the court or a resolution to fight all things she finds