Xavier's Biographical Description

Xavier's Biographical Description

Xavier is a man that seems to have it all together. He is successful, educated, responsible, hardworking and financially stable. Yet Xavier is down-to-earth and approachable. He has this cool, calm, and collective persona that makes you feel at ease. He is somewhat of an introvert, but knows how to catch your eye. His boy-next-door looks create a trustworthy appeal. His charisma is little subdued, but is considered mysterious in a sexy sort of way. He is often serious, but expresses a sense of humor on occasion. He carries himself like a gentleman who is respectable and courteous. At first glance, he portrays himself as the guy you would bring home to mom.

On second thought, what you see isn't always what you get. Let's rewind 31 years ago, and get a brief story of his life. Xavier was the youngest and only boy of three children. Both mother and father raised him with the "macho" beliefs. Men don't cry, they are strong, they don't give in, and they are always the head of the household. He often described himself as the dork, who never belonged to the "cool" clique. He recalls getting picked on in school for his not so attractive glasses, his not so manly voice, and for being smarter than everyone else.

Well, he eventually had the last laugh when he graduated high school at sixteen. He obtained his bachelors degree in marketing and accounting. He was working his way up to become an account executive in a large advertising agency. At the same time, pursued the unconventional part time job that he had while in college. His big-time New York City nightlife promotions and events, made his 9-5 job seem mediocre in contrast. Dissatisfaction in his professional career, and in his personal life geared his attention towards his night job. As a result he quit his accounting/marketing job to become a successful entrepreneur.

Although Xavier was dedicated to his new and exhilarating career, he had a difficult time devoting him self to significant people in his life. Although he states that he loves his family, he doesn't contact them often. Even though his siblings and nieces live close as well, he chooses to visit only on holidays, birthdays and special occasions. He does have a few college buddies but doesn't confide in them. He keeps conversations only to sports, business, and other manly matters. For the most part, his relationships with his business partners and employees are somewhat neutral. Yet at times, he can have a cocky attitude to demand respect. This can come off as arrogance, and it has created problems at work.

Although he has dated various women in his life, only three have been his "girlfriend". First one was his high school sweetheart, who broke up with him before she moved away. The second one was his college girlfriend, who ended the relationship. After he caught her red handed with another man, she excused herself by saying that she fell out of love for him. They say that third times a charm, and it was almost true in his case. He courted his third girlfriend, proposed to her, and even showed her how cold his feet really were. She dropped him before he could say "I'm sorry".

Xavier is extremely fearful about others, and insecure about himself. He has a hang-up about his reputation and success. According to Alfred Adler, Xavier most probably has a superiority complex. These feelings have escalated since childhood, and have created further anxiety. He very often tries to conceal his own inferiority that has haunted him until adulthood. By coordinating and entertaining extravagant parties, he was proving to himself and to others that he wasn't a loser. Losers don't get the VIP treatment, and they don't interact with the rich and famous. He had an obvious need for admiration and prestige, and his job was fulfilling it. His enthusiasm gradually faded away, after realizing that people will point the finger no matter what. They would continue to criticize and put him down. He also realized that coming home at four in the morning every night, wasn't exactly gaining brownie points with the women. He worried that it would interfere with his family in the later future. This recent fear produced aggression, a personality trend by Karen Horney. His desire to surpass others, due to his insecurity was very apparent. This is where the arrogant attitude comes into place, followed by rude and demeaning remarks. Xavier can even be characterized into the detached trend. His sensitivity can force him to avoid being involved with people. He will desire privacy to avoid being picked on (even as an adult).

This brings me to his often self-centered and inconsiderate behavior. At times, he denys the feelings of others, to avoid the reality of how others view him. This has created problems with his relationships of all levels. His fear of getting hurt is so prevalent, that he will hurt others before it even crosses their mind. Of course not anyone is out to hurt him, but it is engraved in his mind and he can upset others unconsciously. Freud stated that in the second psychosexual stage, the child will develop attitudes based on his potty training experience. Therefore I can assume that Xavier was a constipated child, and grew up to become a stingy adult that doesn't give. Some may even call him anal retentive, due to his sometimes uptight attitude.

Transference also has a lot to do his relationship towards others. His parents gave him conditional love, by making it very clear to him that he needed to be a strong and big boy in order to receive positive attention. His position in his family also has contributed to his behaviors as an adult. As the youngest child, he most probably received more attention than the rest of the siblings. Perhaps he was spoiled, and favored for being the only boy in the family. He was excessively looked after and toke care of, and this mind-set was carried through