A Case Study on Forgiveness

Forgiveness Case Study 1

A Case Study On Forgiveness

Forgiveness Case Study 2

Transcript

PART I

Me: So, Jane, John, we talked briefly on the phone, but let me start by asking you what's on your mind?

Jane: Well I'm a Christian, but it's my daughter's acting like a tramp, that's what.

John: Now, hon -

Jane: No, John, that's how I feel. And the fact that she couldn't tell me...that only makes things that much worse. And Bruce! I've known Bruce since he was how old? And this happens?

Me: You know, Jane, your feelings are totally valid.

Jane: They are?

Me: Yes. And so are your husband's. But part of why this is so difficult is the pure emotion of it all. Part of why it's so difficult is the anger, and the resentment, and the love that you all have for each other and for The Lord.

John: I don't think she's feeling much love right now.

Jane: That's not fair, John, I -

PART II

Me: I'd like to say one thing right up front. For any of this to be resolved the two of you need to form a...a unified front I suppose. And, as I was saying, we need to try to dull the emotion as much as we can and look at things logically. John, would you mind explaining the situation more fully?

John: Ok. Well...you know that our daughter Pam has been dating that boy Bruce for quite awhile now.

Forgiveness Case Study 3

Me: Yes.

Jane: Actually it's been a year.

John: Right. A year. Anyway, they've been dating for quite awhile. Anyhow, a few weeks ago Pam told us that she'd had an abortion. She found out she was pregnant about six weeks ago...and, well, I guess Bruce wanted to do the right thing but -

Jane: He could've done the right thing by her in the first place! (She begins to cry)

Me: (After handing Jane some tissue) That's all right Jane, go ahead and let it out. Now, John, what do you mean by "the right thing", marriage?

John: Yeah.

Me: I see. But Pam didn't want that?

John: No. I guess, well, she says that she doesn't think she's ready to be a mother, and that she doesn't really know if she's in love with Bruce. I mean, they are only high school kids.

Jane: If they were old enough to -

PART III

Me: Excuse me, Jane, I don't mean to interrupt, but I have a question for both of you that I think is very important. What are your feelings towards your daughter right now? Jane, I'd like your answer first.

Jane: Well, I'm angry. I'm terribly angry. And I suppose that I'm hurt. I always imagined that Pam and I were close, that we could talk about things. I don't know. Yes, I'd say that my feelings are that I'm hurt and angry.

Me: What about you John?

John: (Long pause) I'm not sure. I just, I mean I'm angry with her. It's not right, what she did. She killed her baby...but, I don't know. It's just, this always seemed like something that wouldn't happen to us.

Me: But, John, what are your feelings towards Pam?

Forgiveness Case Study 4

John: I know. Sometimes I kinda dance around the things that hurt. I love her, but I'm mad. I'm very mad, and I feel betrayed.

Me: How so?

John: Well, she didn't even ask us for advice. I guess I could have been ok if she'd have asked...

Me: Do you really think so, John?

John: Well...(long pause)

PART IV

Me: I tend to doubt it. If I might, I'd like to ask another question.

Jane: Ok.

Me: Did you ever speak with Pam about abortion?

Jane: No but...

John: We thought that she knew. I mean, how could she not know?

Me: I know how you feel. Sometimes, with things that just seem so inherently wrong to me, I wonder how people could feel differently than I do.

John: Exactly.

Jane: Yeah.

Me: But, I happen to have some very well-educated friends, smart friends, who are people that I respect, who believe that abortion is all right. They might think that it's bad, but they just don't see it the way that we do. How do you think that I deal with that?

Jane: I don't know. I don't know how to deal with it myself.

Me: Well, that's sort of my point. I know, in my heart, that God frowns on abortion, that it is a sin. But what do I do when those around me think otherwise, even though I think that

Forgiveness Case Study 5

their immortal souls may be in danger?