A Tough Decision

A Tough Decision

Hot sun, cool water, ear piercing screaming of children. It was almost a perfect day at Cole Park, where I was a lifeguard. I got down from my chair, and headed up to the guard shack for my much needed break. Tired, and stressed out, I collapsed on the bench. The phone rang, and that is when it all began.

When the summer began, my friend Chuck and I started a band. I was lead singer, and also lead MC. We played all originals, which were mostly rap-metal songs. I really enjoyed rapping, and I became interested in free styling and battle rapping. Free styling is when you rap off of the top of your head, with no pre-written lyrics. Battle rapping is free styling, where rappers go back and forth, trying to better each others rhyme. Friday nights, my friends and I would peruse the city in search of people to battle. I was always received with negative attitude, because I am a white 18 year old. This only fueled my ambition because it became my goal to spread my name without having to conform to the stereotypical black, "gangster" image profile. Fortunately I never lost one battle and my name started to spread. People eventually came to see me at work, battle me, listen to me rap etc...

To my surprise a man named "Cage" showed up at work one day. I recognized this name from somewhere, but I wasn't positive where. He asked me to free style and I remember the look on his face when I began to rap. From my observation, he was quite impressed. We talked, battled, and he came back every week or so to hang out. I remember the night of July 25th when I was on the internet, and I decided to do some research on him. Words cannot express my excitement when I found out that he was a producer. Not only was he a producer, but a producer for my favorite record label, Faceless Records. I tried to keep it cool for a while, until he showed up the next week.

Cage pulled up in his yellow Hummer and pulled me aside. I was asked to come to New York City to record a demo in 3 weeks. I was so excited to hear that I was breaking through with my rapping, and about to make a living doing what I loved to do. Time progressed and I wrote raps until I got a call at work the following Friday. It was my mom; Cage had stopped by home with some news. "Tell Matt that my manager heard his shit, and if he comes down to New York to record, he'll have a $200,000 check in his hands." I dropped the phone and sat down. Everything that I had ever dreamed, hoped, and worked towards was falling into my lap. I couldn't wait to tell everyone.

I ran down to the boat house to tell Chuck and the other lifeguards, and I gave them hugs, and quit my job. I needed to focus, Saturday was coming up. I wrote more and more raps, practiced until all hours of the night, and let no one into my life. I dumped my girlfriend, shut myself off from my family, and utterly changed as a person. The record deal was getting to my head.

My parents noticed how obsessed I was with this opportunity, and they told me to at least try two weeks of school, in case everything didn't work out. I got on the phone and dropped all my classes right in front of them, and I told them that they would never see me again. I hated them for getting in the way; I hated everyone who tried to get in the way.

A few days later I went to Albany to do a show, and some battles with the guys from Faceless. I met some of my favorite rappers, which was an amazing experience. We went to a few clubs