About Me

I have been through so many experiences in my life some good and some bad. You can't learn if you don't have any bad experiences or conflicts. If you never have your pretty much lying; you have to have at least one thing you screwed up. That's why I use the philosophy never regret anything because at the time you wanted to do it or say what you said. That's what I tell everyone I get to know. It's a pretty good piece of advice. If you don't get anything form this piece of writing just take that and use it.

I grew up in the capital region all of my life. I moved from house to house not knowing were I was going next. It was from one shit hole to the next. The projects aren't a safe place for five year old kid ether. My mom could never keep a job was the reason why my childhood wasn't that memorable. My life was like growing up in the movie eight mile. My mom always drunk and couldn't pay the rent. I remember one time when she came home and was so drunk she didn't know were she was. I had to help her in to her room and get her ready for bed. You don't know how traumatizing it I having to dress your mother. It was one of the worst experiences I had to endeavor. Ok it wasn't the worst thing ever; I think I been through a little bit worse then that.

There was never food in the house due to the fact that my mother spent all her money on booz and drugs to get her fix for the night. "Fuck me right". I would have to fend for my self and make my own food. Or sometimes even resort to steeling at the local corner store. I wasn't a very healthy child due to the fact that I was living on ho ho's and ding dongs form the corner store for the first eight years of my life. This would soon come back to haunt me. I didn't realize the track I was on and how it would affect me a little bit later.

I don't remember ay of my teachers names form elementary school because I had so many. I never go to get to know any of them like any other normal primary school student. Butterflies are no stranger to me. Walking into a different school all the time and meeting so many new people. I dint regret going to so many different schools because it made me a better person. I am never nervous to be my self or to tell someone that there wrong in the middle of the class if I see it fit; or get in front of a room and talk about anything; I may stutter a little bit but that's just natural. I remember the first day of kindergarten though most people do. I walked in to the classroom the smell consumed me it was like I just walked into a whole new world. So many different people; I never saw a black person before so I thought something was wrong with some of the kids, and the Asians had slanted eyes I remember asking if they could still see. I got in little bit of trouble because I made little girl cry. I didn't know what I did, but then I learned tat there a lot of different people in the world and that they shouldn't be judged by the way they look.

As time went on I vaguely remember what the rest of my elementary school career. Other then that I went through 3rd grade twice because I was in some many different schools tat year I was learning the same thing over and over again. It's not like I failed though it was more like I got held back. I wasn't stupid I just probably wouldn't have made it very well in middle school because if the simple things I had missed. I was a smart kid I jut couldn't read very well; which wouldn't have done me well in the future.

I finally had enough I wasn't going to take it any more. I needed some reel food I was tired of living on this junk. I needed something real so I stole my mothers' boyfriends' coin collection which was worth a couple thousand. And used it to by some real food; I think it was some crab legs and a hamburger t the local buffet restaurant. I got caught a couple days later, go figure. I walked into the house and my mother was sitting on the chair in the living room, with the empty coin case in her hands. She asked me what I did; I denied everything until she slapped me across the face and told me that she couldn't handle me anymore. She had my stuff packed up already and put in my grandmothers' car. It was time for me to start a new life I was moving to Corinth and getting ready to live with my father, the man that didn't have anything to do with me for the first years of my life; the one that walked out on my mom when I was only three months old. I look back now and see why he did it. My mother wasn't ready for a child at her age. He had me when she was only eighteen and she was buckling under the pressures of having a son. I don't blame her for her actions its natural for the weak to cower and fall in times were they are needed most.

This was hard for me moving from the city all the way to the middle of knows where. It was a good change though, different people and a new environment. The first day of school wasn't bad because it was familiar to me all the eyes looking at me like im some type of alien or something. There was this one girl though a cute one too. She looked at me a smiled and waved her little hand with her pig tails and glasses. I sat don right next to her and that's were I remained for the rest of the year, never leaving her side. I will always remember that day because things were never the same. This girl changed my life so much and made me the person I am now. I know it's hard to believe but it's true.

I remember one day when I was talking to her about prom and we were only in the froth grade. It was so far away but I thought I was in love I was like ten or eleven years old. I told her that when we get to high school that I would take her to prom. And then I made her cry. So the teacher thought it was a bad thing and sent me to the office. But later she found out the real situation and felt like a big bitch. But this goes to show how much me and this girl Danielle liked each other.

As time went on we grew apart because in middle school we weren't in the same classes. So she got her self a new boyfriend jimmy. I hated seeing her with him; but I dealt with it and found my self a new girl, Alex. She was a new girl too she came from Saratoga. She was pretty and nice and the total opposite of Danielle, they weren't the same person. Alex and I got along great but it wasn't the same I liked her more as a friend more then anything. We finally broke up and she moved back to Saratoga and, I realized after a while that I missed Danielle. I was so depressed that I started to hang out with the wrong crowd again. I started to go in the direction of my mother which was a track set for me. It was what everyone expected of me.

Then high school