Becoming a Man

Becoming a Man

When you hear the words "40 year old virgin," many things might come to mind. You might think of a nun, or your nerdy computer teacher, or the popular 2005 movie, The 40 Year Old Virgin, starring actor Steve Carell. This award winning comedy follows the life of Andy Stitzer, a forty-year-old man who through a combination of unfortunate accidents and his own shyness has altogether give up on sex. When his coworkers discover that Andy is a virgin, they make it their quest to "get him laid" throughout the entire film. The theme of sexuality and losing one's virginity supports "hegemonic masculine" ideals, that Kimmel explains in his book, Manhood in America. According to Kimmel, the "hegemonic male" is successful, aggressive, physical, and independent, and of course, sexual. Kimmel then goes on to expand on the rise of a new type of masculinity, the "democratic male," one that embodies "traditional masculine virtues" like a "hegemonic male," but also embodies emotion, compassion, and intuitive care towards his family. (Kimmel, 255). Although The 40 Year Old Virgin preys on our sex-crazed society and documents on Andy Stitzer's attempts at a journey towards "manhood" or "hegemonic masculinity," it is actually challenging the "hegemonic male" through Andy's embodiment of the "democratic male."

A more common interpretation of this movie is that it actually pokes fun at the fact that Andy is still a virgin at the age of 40. He lives alone surrounded by a multitude of different action figures, videogames, and posters of dragons and Asia. All of his action figures are hermetically sealed in their boxes in order to "preserve value," a hobby that could be seen as Andy trying to preserve his own personal action figure. Furthermore, Andy rides his bicycle to SmartTech, an electronic store where he works in the stockroom. These aspects characterize Andy as a stereotypical nerd, not a "hegemonic male." He is not successful, aggressive, and he definitely does not think about sex without emotional attachment. Nevertheless, upon further inspection, it is evident that Andy does possess all of the attributes of a "hegemonic male" plus characteristics that qualify him as a "democratic male."

"Democratic masculinity" is more stable and therefore, Andy is entirely comfortable with his own masculinity, be it different from his coworkers. Although he does collect toys, play video games, and ride a bicycle, all things that could cause criticism, Andy does not feel uncomfortable or feel the need to defend himself. In his opinion, there is nothing wrong with the way he lives his life. Although he works in the stockroom at SmartTech at first, Andy soon shows his ability when given the opportunity to fill in for David. His boss quickly promotes him to floor manager. Andy is also physically hegemonic, defying the image that one might have of a stereotypical nerd. In fact, Andy has well defined muscles and exercises on a regular basis, seen in his early morning rituals. Even further, Andy shows a strong sense of attachment towards a family unit. After he starts dating Trish, Andy volunteers to take her teenage daughter, Marla, to a health clinic to learn about sex. When Marla starts receiving criticism towards the fact that she's a virgin, Andy sacrifices his dignity and admits that he too is a virgin, in order to make Marla feel more comfortable. Not only is he comfortable in his masculinity to face the criticism of the group, but he also takes on a parental role, showing his willingness to be an "involved parent," something that Kimmel says is necessary of a "democratic male" (Kimmel, 257). All of these characteristics combined allow Andy to be seen as a "democratic male," a newer classification of masculinity that is slowly replacing the dominance of the "hegemonic male" because it is actually a stronger form of masculinity.

Some characters in the movie that might be considered "hegemonic males," are Andy's coworkers, David and Jay, but "hegemonic masculinity" is actually suppressing them. David is a classic romantic getting over his ex-girlfriend while Jay is a Casanova, constantly bragging about his conquests. Although David and Jay initially fit into "hegemonic masculinity," as David illustrates "manly stoicism" and Jay is "preoccupied with demonstrating sexual prowess," the movie reveals later that these two characters do not truly fit in to this stereotype. They are merely trying to (Kimmel, 3). The pressures of "hegemonic masculinity" are actually suppressing both David and Jay. David is haunted by memories of his ex-girlfriend Amy, who he is clearly not over. However, David remains stoic for fear "that other men will...emasculate [him], [and] reveal...that [he] does not measure up, [is] not [a] real man" (Kimmel, 5). David completely breaks down when he runs into Amy at a speed dating session. He becomes a mass of tears and emotions, balling up into the fetal position and filming an obscene "I'm over you" video for Amy in front of all the SmartTech customers to see. David ultimately decides on a vow of celibacy. Jay also strives to fit into the ideals of "hegemonic masculinity." He could be considered to be something of a "ladies man" constantly cheating on his girlfriend and advising Andy not to put "the pussy on a pedestal." Actually, Jay is putting on a show because "what men need is men's approval" (Kimmel 5). On the outside, Jay seems to be a womanizer, but later in the movie, he confesses to Andy that he is actually insecure and even begins to cry. Even more, when his girlfriend reveals that she is pregnant, Jay immediately takes on the role of a proud father, showing the entire staff of SmartTech the sonogram on every single big screen TV in the store. Although the emotional upheavals of both David and Jay could be considered a complete softening their previously "manly" behavior, David and Jay are actually becoming "democratic males." David openly shows his emotions and Jay excitedly looks forward to fatherhood. After befriending Andy, both of these characters see that "democratic masculinity" is stronger and more stable and make strides towards adopting more "democratic" traits.

The women in The 40 Year Old Virgin also contribute to the shifting form of masculinity in the movie by adopting what can be seen as more "masculine." The movie contains two female characters that actually show characteristics of "hegemonic masculinity,"