Blinking Eye

Blinking Eye

Essay

Being the middle child isn't always easy. You don't get the responsibility and privileges that come with being the oldest child, nor the spoiled and protected life of the youngest child. Middle children are often confused and have trouble finding their identity, because they have never had a clear role like their siblings. Blinking Eye is the story of a young woman who is attempting to find her identity and role in the world.

The setting is a desolate dessert road stretching through Utah, where the protagonist is driving towards the funeral of her mother, with her mother beside her in the form of ashes in a green urn. The dessert is a lonely and barren place, but she is happy to be alone with her mother, even if it is just her remains. One gets the feeling that she has always craved her mother's attention, and in an eerie sort of way, she has gotten her attention now. She is very happy and feels an elevated position in the siblinghood, because of the unaccustomed responsibility which has been bestowed upon her. She feels solemn and is eager to prove to her dead mother, as well as her sister that she can be trusted with things of importance and rise to the occasion.

She speaks to her mother as though she were still alive and sitting right next to her in the car seat. This is her opportunity to have her mother on her side, because she is in complete control of the conversation. I suspect that when the mother was alive, she was used to being the mediator between the two sisters. The protagonist complains to her mother about her older sister seeing her as untrustworthy because of the money she took without consulting her. It seems as if this inconsideration from the protagonist's side has always been an issue between the sisters. "Now she's going to be at the funeral and I've got to go through this whole thing all over again with her" The girl fails to realize that, to her sister, it is more a matter of principle than about a hundred bucks. She tries to convince both herself and the mother that taking the money for herself was done in good intentions. The lack of emotions that the girl is showing in regards to her mother's death is peculiar, but yet understandable. She is young and possibly lived with her mother until her death. That at least would explain why she is the one ferrying the ashes back to the mother's family and why she was the one with access to the disputed check.

Despite that, one doesn't get a feeling of the mother and the protagonist having a strong bond. As the text is written in the 3rd person limited omniscience writer, we get an insight into the thoughts and emotions of the protagonist. We can only imagine how much of her thoughts are real, and how much is only real to her.

With the hawk, she gets yet another chance to redeem herself and prove that she can take reasonability. She is shocked by the situation and initially looks around to see if anyone else is around to take charge of the situation, but then realizes that it is up to her to take a course of action.

The way she speaks to the hawk is notable. It is as if she is a not yet finished human being, and is trying out different aspects of behavior and speech in order to find the proper one. She starts out imitating mimics that she has seen on TV, and she continuously repeats the same three words. "Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God as though it were a mantra that might somehow deliver her from the situation."

"She tries to speak to the hawk in a voice she used to use on puppies and painted turtles"