Coming to Grips with an Old Foe

Coming to Grips with an Old Enemy

"We are at war between consciousness and nature, between the desire for permanence and the fact of flux. It is ourself against ourselves" (Watts). When one comes to grips with the essence of nature, one will find a great friend within nature. To many individuals nature is seen as an uncontrollable woman. Nature seems to be the source of the world's natural disasters. The way nature works is quite unpredictable and because of this nature is misunderstood.

Growing up in the city I really didn't see that much of nature. The tall buildings occupied the clouds. Sure the city has its parks which were dominated by all sorts of parasites. Instead of enjoying the grass, and the sunshine I was to busy swiping away the bees. Some will see a nice sunny day, I saw heat. Some would see spring time, I saw allergies. To some the trees represent beauty but too me it meant that I had to rake the leaves. I would often read and hear about this great love for nature but these ideas of beauty in nature seem preposterous to me.

When I was younger and a storm would come around I would run to a closet and hide. I hated the thunder and lighting. There were all signs of war, a war between nature and I, and a war that I knew I couldn't win. I was afraid of getting struck by lighting or the lights in my house going out. I hated everything about nature with a passion. Nature was indeed my worst enemy.

During my adolescence years like most teenagers my world seemed overbearing. I needed relief form life's perils. I was in a very unstable relationship. People usually find refuge in their mate but I needed refuge for her. My grades were of course less than mediocre. It is hard to find refuge within the city. The options that were present to me were drugs and alcohol. I was too afraid of becoming an addict so I never got too involved with them. So since drugs and alcohol were useless I felt tarp. At times I would ride the subway for no particular reason but to feel a glimpse of peace. I would stare at the other passengers on the train. I would wonder about their lives. I would wonder if their lives were better than mine own.

One day while riding on a subway, I came upon a stop called "Bowling Green" The name struck me with interest. It felt that I was being led by a spirit to a heavenly sanctuary. Each step I took out that subway station seemed to be a step towards peace. As I exited the subway station ,I felted blinded but paradoxically received new light from the sun. I felt like Paul on his way to Damascus blinded by the glory of God. I saw the most beautiful park I have ever seen. The green grass was like a bed where I could rest my head. I now understood what the psalmist meant when he proclaims "He makes me lie down in green pastures" (Pslam23). I too wanted to