Confessions

Confessions Paper

"We can hardly regard this as a trivial matter. But nothing can restore hope to us except your mercy, known since you began to transform us. You know how great a transformation you have brought about. You cured me in the first place of my lust for self-justification to show yourself propitious to all my other iniquities; you heal all my diseases, you redeem my life from corruptions, crown me with compassion and mercy, and satisfy my longing with good things. By fear of you, you repressed my pride and by your yoke you made my neck submissive; now I carry that yoke and it is gentle, exactly as your promised and as you made it. In truth it was gentle already, but I did not realize it at the time when I was afraid to submit to it" (X, 58)

Saint Augustine combines his autobiography with an in depth biblical exegesis to form a story of transformation and hope, known as Confessions. In the book, Augustine describes his sinful life at an early age and leads the reader through his return to God. He then delves into the scriptures for a lengthy discussion of theology and philosophy. Throughout the book Augustine continually reverts to the topic of returning to God and in a sense, God returning to him. In the quote above, Augustine describes God's mercy and faithfulness as he battled for purity and gives thanks to God for his assistance in his times of trouble.

In the first part of the quote, Augustine says that "We can hardly regard this as a trivial matter." The "this" he is referring to is explained earlier in the passage. He is talking about how he sees God's creation living and it causes him to give praise to God. He laments, though, that when he tries to focus on God and his prayer, he becomes too easily distracted. This parallels to the earlier part of the book when Augustine is struggling to find his spiritual identity. He's in continually questioning beliefs and remains a skeptic throughout his life. This skepticism prevents him from truly believing in God, just like he becomes distracted by things around him when he tries to pray. He expressed the gravity of this problem, remarking that it cannot be treated as a trivial matter. This is much like the objective of Augustine's life. He does not treat his skepticism as a trivial matter, instead he seeks out people who are knowledgeable and attempts to discern fact from fiction and form his own beliefs.

Augustine then begins to reminisce about God's mercy and how it is the reason that his hope is restored and the transformation began. This shows itself when Augustine is listening to Ambrose speak on a regular basis. Augustine begins by purely listening to him from a public speaking standpoint and learning from his eloquence and speaking ability. But after listening to him something inside Augustine sparked a sense of skepticism and led to him questioning his beliefs. This was a change that God triggered inside Augustine's heart.

Augustine goes on to describe how he got saved him from his sinful life. He says, "You cured me in the first place of my lust for self-justification to show yourself propitious to all my other iniquities;" God reached out to Augustine in his self-gratifying sins and showed faith in his other transgressions. God knew there was good in Augustine and showed his faith in him. This is emphasized in earlier discussions in the book about good and evil. Augustine explains that if something (X) could be worse, then there is some good in X. This parallels to God's view of Augustine. He saw that there was some good in Augustine and he expressed faith in that part of him and helped bring it out.

Augustine then goes on to give God credit for all he had done in his life, "you heal all my diseases, you redeem my life from corruptions, crown me with compassion and mercy, and satisfy my longing with good things." Augustine is referring to his sexual sins of the past when he talks of his "diseases." God helped him see his wrong and cure him of his desires. In speaking of his corruptions, Augustine means his need for manipulation. Earlier, Augustine had discussed how language was just a means to manipulate people and oneself. God helped him see how manipulation is not needed and cleared his life of the corruption. He says that God was compassionate and merciful to him. It took a long time for Augustine to transform from his Manichean views to a Christian standpoint. God was patient with Augustine during this time and kept putting the right people in his life, like Ambrose, in order to lead him in the right direction.

Augustine then explains why he made his