Crime and Punishment

The greatest difficulty in my life that I have ever faced was the relationship I once shared with a boy I cared for. As a young infatuated girl, I thought we were going to be always together. Since I believed I would always be with him, I accepted whatever happened to me. During the relationship, things had completely changed after we were together for four months; he began to be abusive more and more often. His suspicions and paranoia intensified when I entered high school and I tried to make friends. This caused him to literally cut me off from contact with the rest of the world. His fear of losing me grew as time went on. I was estranged from my family because I was never home and I was no longer close with my friends because he always managed to find a reason for me not to be with them. The actions that he took against me were things that no one should ever experience in a "loving" relationship. Did his exerting his anger on me help? No, it did not because there was an endless amount of anger to be taken out on me.

The most frightening moment came about during an argument; I was flung onto his bed and he went on top of me. At this point, I closed my eyes and anticipated the worst. He pinned me down and twisted my wrists. Then, he proceeded to say, "You don't deserve the air you suck in," and he backhanded me on my arm, leaving with a red, burning hand mark that stayed for two days. This happened several times. After one of these dark experiences, I rolled up my sleeves and stared at my skin in the mirror at home. I noticed how ugly it has turned. My delicate skin was now covered with bruises, darkest where it hurt most. At this point, I knew I would not stay anymore; even if this was love, thinking perhaps love was not for me. At the beginning of my sophomore year, I decided to break away from him on the phone; knowing I'd be in his grasp like I had tried in previous attempts.

The more serious the crime, the smaller number of acts committed--this is the reason why being under suspicion of homicide can be offensive. The public deems murder as one of the most horrific and unforgivable actions an individual can take. Because of that, people want murderers to put away in a jail for lifetimes or for them to experience capital punishment. Their ideology is that people who are capable of murder cannot be normal or a part of society. Rather, Fyodor Dostoevsky presents something new to the reader's attention; what if, it is that the murderer has selfless capabilities that few in society possess? The author gives a feeling of sympathy for the main character, Raskolnikov, who murders an old woman and her sister, through his actions at the expense of his own well-being. In a time where the majority, which are poor, must live scarcely, the main character proves his humanitarianism as he gives the minimal money that he has to those that he feels need it more than he does. However, people in a model society do not attribute murders with such admirable traits. Dostoevsky's overall presentation of Raskolnikov allows readers to have remorseful feelings towards an individual with the capabilities of a murderer and reveals the fact that even a good, honest, educated, and trusted person can kill.

At first, Dostoevsky describes Raskolnikov as a peasant who abnormally has an education and also a dispute with his landlady. The narrator uses the fact that Raskolnikov, "...was crushed by poverty..." and how he hated, "...to be forced to listen to [his landlady's]...pestering depmands for payment, threats and complaints..."