Death After the Loss of an Intimate Partner

The first pertains to the sexual identify of the deceased and her partner. Lesbian and homosexual relationships present a variety of complications. These issues are unique in the lesbian and gay community and impact the grieving experience. Often couples have kept their relationship a secret and face the risk of being alienated from family rituals for the deceased. The second issue is the impact of death caused by a plane crash. Sudden and unexpected death generally raise complicated grieving for the survivor. The shock of the loss disrupts the griever’s life. The third conceptual issue is the loss of the assumptive world. This refers to the loss of the beliefs that provide a sense of safety and security as well as meaning and reality in life. Traumatic loss can shatter the assumptive world view and bring a sense of lost hope, impending danger for the griever.

Beder recommends the counselor assess the griever to determine the degree of violation to the worldview. When the assumptive view remains intact, intervention can proceed in the area of disenfranchised or stigmatized grief. The counselor’s approach should be in the direction of assisting the griever to accept the reality of the loss and deal with the validity of the lost relationship. Some type of ritual can be offered as a means of healing. The author suggests the counselor take a cognitive approach in helping the client come to terms and relearn new assumptions about the world.

I have family members and friends in the lesbian and gay lifestyle. This reading provoked me to consider challenges persons in alternative lifestyles could encounter. I was also reminded of the importance for counselors to be educated, and sensitive to the diverse and cultural issues of our clients.