Divorce

Divorce is a major issue in our North American culture. Not only have the marriage rates gone down to an all time low but it is predicted that many marriages will end in divorce. This essay will help the reader to see insights on how an adolescent might be affected, and why they are going through different emotions and displaying different actions. It will display the parents role as well as adolescents actions and also a way for helpers to react to the child in a grace oriented response.

The Issue

Every child is reacting to divorce in its own way. Divorce in our generation is not widely accepted and is a common practice in North American life. Divorce is leaving a major scar on the whole family not just the wife and husband that are separating. There is a major problem with the child because he/she has a radical change of lifestyle and life at that certain time in their life. Because the self satisfaction of parents divorce has been more devastating to children than we can possible imagine unless we have gone through it our selves. Not only does a child feel a banded during this point in time but also feeling like they have to choose sides and that there life has ended as well. One of the main issues of divorce is the fact that parents tend to think that their child will be happier after a divorce. And those parents tend to think about their own well being instead of the child's welfare. The majority of marital breakups today are driven by a quest for greener grass. It is known as the expressive divorce. And the thinking behind it is that if one or both parents are happier because of divorce, it should also enhance their children's well-being but in these cases the children will almost always be worse off. (Romano 1995) Within the decision of divorce there are many non beneficial factors of children only having one parent such as not having positive role models, parental discipline and a positive view on marital relationships. Divorce is a process that unfolds overtime. It may take several years of family changes and renegotiations that cannot be dealt with overnight (Health Canada,2000). Divorce is in many ways the same as losing someone in the family. Something is taken from you that can't be taken back. It will take years of healing and you can't just forget what happened. There are many emotional scars that take place that take years to heal. The battle is never ending and families' not just parents are involved.

The Scope of the Problem

Marriage rates have plummeted to a forty-year low. Couples are having harder time achieving long-term wedded bliss. (Parrott,2000) It is scary to think that out of 70,155 divorces in Canada each year on average these couples will have one child that will be emotionally hurt from their parents divorce.

. The overall result of this analysis was that children from divorced families are on "average" somewhat worse off than children who have lived in intact families. These children have more difficulty in school, more behavior problems, more negative self-concepts, more problems with peers, and more trouble getting along with their parents. (Hughes Jr 1996)

Canadian Divorce Statistics used by stats Canada

"What are the divorce statistics for Canada?"

There were 71,110 divorces in Canada in 2001. This number has been more or less constant for several years now.

"Chances of a Canadian couple getting a divorce?"

The riskiest year is the fourth year of marriage. In the first year of marriage, there are less than one divorce for every 1,000 marriages. After one year of marriage, there are 5.1 divorces for every 1,000 marriages in Canada. After two years of marriage, there are 17 divorces for every 1,000 marriages in Canada. After three years, there are 23.6 divorces for every 1,000 Canadian marriages. After four years, there are 25.5 divorces for every 1,000 Canadian marriages. After that, the chances of divorce decline slowly for each subsequent year of marriage.

"What are the chances of a marriage lasting 30 years?"

Even though statistics have changed dramatically over time, currently, it's expected that 37.7% of all Canadian marriages will end in a divorce before the 30th anniversary.

There are some visible symptoms as to why there are so many divorces every year and that is getting married for the wrong reasons. Another reason why people marry so young is because of religious reason. By that I mean by having sex the right way. They figure if we're going to have sex we might as well do it the right way and get married. By doing this they are basing their marriage all on sex which should never be the reason for marrying anybody. When you marry somebody, it should be based on your love for each other and not for what you want from each other because your marriage will never succeed that way. Pregnancy is also another most common reason why young adults marry so young this is asking to divorce quickly as you aren't even ready to live and support each other and now there is a another child involved. Statistics Canada reported that 1,211,190 families were single parents. Women outdid men leading 1,065,365 of those families. Men were the heads of the remaining 245,825 families. It clearly shows in statistics how many children will be suffering from growing up with only either a Mom or a Dad. It most cases the children are placed with their moms in the child's best interest and the father takes the main role of paying child support.

Visible Symptoms

Divorce is majority a reason between to parents who understand and know all the issues because they know each other most of the time before their children were born. In most cases the children don't understand all the issues for divorce. There is no way to describe exactly how your child will react to divorce but here are some the symptoms. It is a good idea for parents to keep an eye on their children both while going through the divorce and afterward for signs of divorce-related trauma. Signs of trauma may be present in the child who is on his|her best behavior as well as in one who is a troublemaker. Academic problems that weren't there before, trouble eating or sleeping, irrational fears or compulsive behavior, moodiness or excessive anger, fear of being apart from parents - these could all be signs that a child needs help. They will most likely react to their parents divorce with anger, and older teenagers may wonder about their own capability to build good relationships. (Health Canada,2000) Adolescents