Does True Love Exist?

Does True Love Exist?

"I love you." These three little words might possibly be the most powerful statement one can make to another person. In life, most yearn for the intimate affection that a certain someone can provide them. Women dream of their Prince Charming to come and sweep them off their feet, while men search for the love of their life that sets their heart on fire. But what happens when love is thrown around without a second thought? Has this four letter word become an overused clichй? Has love been replaced with lust? Is there such a thing as true love? This last question has been asked throughout history, while many have argued and debated over the final answer. We, as a society, have become a loveless, sex crazed group of people with no concern for any emotion or attachment in our lives. So does this mean that true love does not exist? No. This only shows that achieving the deepest of feelings takes work that our fast-food eating, TV watching generation is not prepared to handle. I believe that true love does exist, but has merely been pushed aside by convenience, superficiality, and apathy.

It seems that over the years, true love is expressed less and less. We are bombarded with holiday cards filled with someone else's words, and are practically forced to send our love in an email. How often do we actually sit down and write out our feelings to the one we love? "To My Dear and Loving Husband," however, is the quintessential love letter. Anne Bradstreet shares her feelings to her husband in such a loving way that could make anyone's heart melt. According to BellaOnline, Bradstreet was, "married to governor of Massachusetts Bay Colony and had eight children." Even though her marriage might have become filled with routines and lost a little passion, the poet never loses the love for her husband. She states that the power of her "...love is such that rivers cannot quench"(Bradstreet, 7). Bradstreet expresses her emotions to be so strong that not even a roaring river can possibly satisfy them. She prizes her husband's "...love more than whole mines of gold/ Or all the riches that the East doth hold," (Bradstreet, 5-6) meaning she values his affection more than any amount of money she could obtain. The sonnet goes on to prove how everlasting true love can be when Bradstreet states, "...when we live no more, we may live ever"(12). She wishes to be in love with her husband eternally, even after they both die.

The love that Anne Bradstreet expresses in her poem, "To My Dear and Loving Husband," may not have been the easiest thing for her to write. As a Puritan living in Boston in 1678, it was highly unacceptable for a woman to be so open with her feelings. Within her community, "any woman who sought to use her wit, charm, or intelligence ...found herself ridiculed, banished, or executed by the Colony's powerful group of male leaders"(Andregg). "Her domain was to be domestic, separated from the linked affairs of church and state, even 'deriving her ideas of God from the contemplations of her husband's excellencies,'" according to the BiographyofAnneBradstreet. Even with this knowledge, Bradstreet still took the chance of writing down the love for her husband with words. Another obstacle she was faced with was her struggle for self-importance, when her culture clearly valued God above anyone else. Love during the Puritan era was meant only to occur between God and oneself, and people were not permitted to write about feelings for another person. Love is a powerful thing and can encourage people to do things they normally wouldn't. In this case, Bradstreet went against everything she knew to express her feelings for her husband.

Although love can be the most wonderful feeling in the world, it is not the answer to all of one's problems. Edna St. Vincent Millay, author of "Love Is Not All," makes this clear in her poem. She states that love "...is not meat nor drink/ Nor slumber nor a roof against the rain"(Millay, 1-2). She makes it quite obvious that people need more than love to survive in life. In fact, Millay says that, "...many a man is making friends with death/ ...as I speak, for lack of love alone" (7-8). She finds it ridiculous that some would commit suicide for such a small thing as having no one to love. "I might be driven to sell your love for peace, / Or trade the memory of this night for food," (12-13) she says, imagining a situation where she must choose between love and basic necessities.

However, in the last line of the poem, after thinking about this sacrifice, she simply answers, "I do not think I would," (14) proving that in the end, she would rather be left with love. Millay explains that some people do not cherish love as they should, and would give up a special moment for something tangible. She clearly shows that although she realizes love is not the only goal in life, she would not trade her feelings for anything else in the world.

In the poem, "True Love," by Wislawa Szymborska, love is depicted as a revolting and repulsive act looked upon by the public. Szymborska questions true love, asking, "Is it normal, / is it serious, is it practical?" (1-2) With all the time and effort that is put into love, most would wonder about the same things as Szymborska. The poet begins to criticize those in love that are "Placed on the same pedestal for no good reason, / drawn randomly from millions" (5-6). Those who are envious of couples in love often feel this way too, wondering why it couldn't be them instead. She says that it is unfair that love chooses only some, "...disrupt[ing] our painstakingly erected principles" (12). Szymborska speaks badly of love by saying, "Look at the happy couple./ Couldn't they at least try to hide it, / fake a little depression for their friends' sake!"(14-16) Everyone, at one time or another, has felt awkwardly around an overly affectionate couple, but secretly wishes that it were their cheeks receiving kisses in public. Szymborska's opinion on the subject is similar to many peoples' these days, however, even though she shows a direct hatred for the subject of love, never is it doubted in the poem that true love exists. She asks if love is "...really necessary,"(27) stating that "Perfectly good children are born without its help" (30). She goes on to say that those who do not believe in true love can continue thinking so, and that "their faith will make it easier for them to live and die"(35). She's basically telling the critics of love to continue in their beliefs, for being naпve will help them to cope with their loneliness.

The