Domestic Violence

Jessica

Ethics

Journal Articles

Review of Journal Articles

I reviewed articles that have to do with domestic abuse. Domestic abuse is a serious problem in our society today. There are more police calls for domestic abuse then almost any other crime. Domestic abuse not only affects the one being abused, but also the one's viewing the abusers and the abuser his self.

According to Sam Vaknin, the author of the journal article, What is Abuse?, "Abusers exploit, lie, insult, demean, ignore (the "silent treatment"), manipulate, and control. There are many ways to abuse. To love too much is to abuse. It is tantamount to treating someone as an extension, an object, or an instrument of gratification. To be over-protective, not to respect privacy, to be brutally honest, with a sadistic sense of humour, or consistently tactless - is to abuse. To expect too much, to denigrate, to ignore - are all modes of abuse. There is physical abuse, verbal abuse, psychological abuse, sexual abuse. The list is long. Most abusers abuse surreptitiously. They are "stealth abusers". You have to actually live with one in order to witness the abuse." As you can see there are many different types of abusers. Every abuser is different and can act out at any time. Which makes this situation even scarier for the victim(s). Many people do not realize that abusers can abuse others just because they love them too much. Which is most of the case when spouses abuse one another.

According to Sam Vaknin, "One of the favorite tools of manipulation in the abuser's arsenal is the disproportionality of his reactions. He reacts with supreme rage to the slightest slight. Or, he would punish severely for what he perceives to be an offence against him, no matter how minor. Or, he would throw a temper tantrum over any discord or disagreement, however gently and considerately expressed. Or, he would act inordinately attentive, charming and tempting (even over-sexed, if need be). This ever-shifting code of conduct and the unusually harsh and arbitrarily applied penalties are premeditated. The victims are kept in the dark. Neediness and dependence on the source of "justice" meted and judgment passed - on the abuser - are thus guaranteed." The slightest argument can trigger an abuser. For example, if one spouse did not take the trash out like they were supposed to, then the victim would be beaten for it. No one deserves to be treated that way. So if you are in a relationship like this, get out of it immediately.

Parents do not understand that even though the child is not getting abused, just by them viewing these acts of violence can make them prone to violence. Or for them to become too scared to even go outside the house. Children are helpless when it comes to domestic abuse. They have not enough power to defend them selves and are often to scared to approach anyone for help. According to the National Committee to Prevent Child Abuse (NCPCA), the authors of the journal article, Domestic Violence and Child Abuse, "Child abuse has become a national epidemic. More than one million children are confirmed each year as victims of child abuse and neglect, and every day a minimum of three children dies a result." Children do not need this type of attention. They need loved, not beaten. What can a child do, to deserve abuse? They do nothing to deserve it. Children can be emotionally affected by domestic violence. The NCPCA states, "Domestic violence often includes child abuse. Children may be victimized and threatened3 as a way of punishing and controlling the adult victim of domestic violence. Or they may be injured unintentionally when acts of violence occur in their presence. Often episodes of domestic violence expand to include attacks on children. However, even when children are not directly attacked, they can experience serious emotional damage as a result of living in a violent household. Parents involved in domestic violence teach their children that this behavior is acceptable."

Domestic abusers have a very unpredictable behavior. This makes abuse situations even worse because of this. According to Sam Vaknin, "The abuser acts unpredictably, capriciously, inconsistently and irrationally. This serves to render others dependent upon the next twist and turn of the abuser, his next inexplicable whim, upon his next outburst, denial, or smile. The abuser makes sure that HE is the only reliable element in the lives of his nearest and dearest - by shattering the rest of their world through his seemingly insane behavior.