Effects of Divorce on Kids

Complexity of a Child's Response (p21)

Instead of allowing himself to experience his painful feelings directly as depression and helplessness, a child may show his reactions indirectly, by behavior changes.

Baby's immediate result of a baby's all-pervasive sense of loss and deprivation may be disturbance sleep, eating, and physical development.

School child response- sudden preoccupation with health and or a decline in school grades

Teenager's insecurity may lead to: antisocial or delinquent behavior, an overly hectic social life, or premature sexual activity.

These responses "symbolize in dramatic form the adolescent's reaction to feeling cheated, left out, and powerless. Such behavior can also be a cry for affection and for reassurance about his masculinity to a boy, and about her femininity to a girl."

Some behavior disturbances have different meanings at different ages in terms of the intensity of a child's reaction and what they portend for his development.

Ex. 5yr. Old wetting the bed vrs. 12 yr. old wetting the bed.

Ex. 3yr. Old steeling a candybar from a drug store vrs. A teenager shoplifting

o Some "bad" behavior is not necessarily an unhealthy manifestation any more than a all "good" behavior is necessarily a positive sign.

* b/c what a child does/says does not always provide a true clue to how he/she may be affected by events.

§ Whether such events occur in a divorce situation, or intact family

Good behavior...direct obedience

-may be for fear that he will be left or sent away

-hope that his goodness will be rewarded by the return of his absent parent