Essay

Writing is easy, it's quality that's hard. Any idiot who knows 5 words can write a sentence (e.g. "Dufus big much Scott is"). It might be grammarless, broken, or inaccurate but it is writing. This means that when people can't start they're imagining the precision of the end, all polished and brilliant, a vision that makes the ugly clumsy junkyard that all beginnings are, impossible to accept. Good voice, tone, rhythm, ideas and grammar are essential to good writing, but they're never introduced all at once. I promise you, the first draft of Strunk and White didn't follow Strunk and White. The secret, if you can't start, is to begin without constraints. Deliberately write badly, but write.

For this reason writer's block is a sham. Anyone who wrote yesterday can write today, it's just a question of if they can do it to their own satisfaction. It's not the fear of writing that blocks people, it's its fear of not writing well; something quite different. Certainly every writer has moments of paralysis, but the way out is to properly frame what's going on, and writer's block, as commonly misunderstood, is a red herring.

Consider this: Have you ever been blocked while playing Frisbee? Eating doughnuts? Dancing naked in your living room? Those are joyful things and there's nothing at stake: if you fail, who cares? Nobody. If there are no rules, and no judgment, psychological blocks are impossible. And remember writers like making names and overthinking things: there is no term for architect-block, painter-block, juggler-block or composer-block. Every creative pursuit faces similar pressures, but they don't obsess about it the way writers seem to do.

So play. Loosen up. Smile. Break the framework that's making it impossible to start. Forget the deadline and the assignment and just be an open mind with a pen. Remember that until you say you're finished, you can break all the rules. If you can't get started, your psychology is making the challenge bigger than you can handle. Thinking of the book, the chapter, the page, the paragraph, is all too big if while you're thinking, the page remains blank. Like a weightlifter out of his class, a writer with a blank page needs to lighten the load.

Writing hacks for starting

In the grand tradition of lists and books of hacks, writing hacks are clever little actions that give you leverage and put the dynamics in your favor. Here in part 1 it's all about how to start.

Start with a word. The first goal is to get one word on the page. It can be any word, but you have to choose it, and put it down. I'm partial to the ridiculous[1], so for me it's often Papaya, Pomegranate or Throat-warbler-man-grove (If you're thinking that's not a word, go back two paragraphs). If one word was easy, go for two. Still feeling lucky? Go for a small sentence. It doesn't matter what the words are, but get them down. Write the lyrics to the song on the radio, the names of people you've slept with, your favorite Dr. Seuss lines, it just doesn't matter. Once all the magic muscles in your little fingers get going, you'll soon find yourself, in between rounds of one fish blue fish, writing some intelligent things. If it peters out, repeat. Return to the unit of writing anyone can do, and build up again.

Write about how it feels not to be able to write. It's sneaky, but damn, it works. The voice in our heads is always saying something, so get it down. Writer-weenies call this free writing, implying something unfortunate about other kinds of writing, but I find it easier to think of as listening. Imagine yourself as a recording device, writing down the radio broadcast of some other person who happens to live in your head. If you think this is weird, write about why it's weird (See: you can't win. There's always a way). Eventually your mind will hit thoughts on the topic itself and, presto, you're on your way.

Have a conversation. Since you can't get "converse with a friend" block call up your buddy and talk. Get their opinions on whatever you're writing, or throw them a bit of yours. Take notes about the conversation. Guess what? You've started writing. Friends are too busy? Go to a cafÐ"© or bar. I've found that if you tell bartenders you're a writer, after they stop laughing, they'll happily chat and occasionally give you free drinks. In a pinch, or if you're a loner, talk with your dog. No dog? Create an imaginary friend (or three). Perhaps I'm insane, but I talk to myself all the time, and sometimes I even like the answers. If you know a writer friend, be writer buddies, available by phone to help each other get started.

Read something you hate. Opinions come easy to me, but some days I'm as indifferent as the wind. To get started I'll read things that I can't stand, express opinions in violent opposition to mine[2] and, when pressed, are written so poorly my eyes burn straight through the pages. A paragraph of outstanding tripe is intellectual smelling salts. It puts me on my feet, sticking and jabbing like Mohammed Ali, raving and ranting on the page. I can rarely use those first rant-laden riffs, but it puts me in the ring. Sometimes its love you need, so go to your masters: Emerson, Fitzgerald, Orwell, King, get your nose into whoever's writing get you jazzed. Writers often write about writing[3], a trick few arts can follow; so reflective motivation from writers is easy to find.

Warm up. Do you imagine Olympic sprinters wake up and immediately sprint around the house? Of course not (unless they drank too much last night). No one performs well without easing muscles and emotions into place. And everyone warms up differently. Sometimes responding to e-mail works because hey, that's a kind of writing. Or type the alphabet forwards and backwards. Maybe revise something old and unfinished to get warm. My ritual is to type in quotes from good books I've read to get the fingers in rhythm and my mind thinking good writer thoughts. More exercises here and here.

Make lists. Nonfiction often starts for me as bulleted lists. I imagine what things the finished work would answer, how it would do it and I write it down. Not that I know how to fill them, but what might good section headings be? List making is never as threatening as "writing", so go there first (There is no shopping list block, is there?). I kick the list around for awhile, changing, moving, shuffling, and then once it has critical mass, I put in a document and go. And I'm always ready to leave the list, and my plan behind, if