Ethics

Kate Spahn

AMBA 600

In this day and age of labels and personal slogans I like to call myself many things. Activist, Feminist, Atheist, Scientist, Humanist, and the one I wish to talk about, Ethical Nihilist.  The ideas of right and wrong or good and evil were always there while I was growing up. Pushed through Catholic School, the ideas of being a righteous person verses being a sinner were constantly with me. I am not really one for religion I found out early on, and I mostly shrugged these messages off as Catholic propaganda, there to manipulate me into obedience by making me feel guilt and shame for things I had done or hadn’t done, or things I may or may not do in the future. Growing up in the 90s in San Francisco I came from a middle class family, parents were divorced, my father was a drunk and my mother a new age spiritual sociopath (as I liked to refer to her).

Life was great. However if you asked me at the time I probably would of said my world was burning down around me. I truly believe that growing up in a city versus the country or suburbs dramatically effects how a person turns out. San Francisco was a prime example of this from being exposed to nudists parading around the Castro to walking around passed out homeless men soaked in their own urine; these things were so boring and every day. Drinking, drugs and gangs simply were always there. I surely took for granted the copious amount of diversity in every aspect of cultural life. Growing up with these experiences allowed me to look at the world without shock or judgement.

My experiences in my youth allowed me to be exposed to all different types of people and ways of looking at the world. It allowed me to be empathetic to others plights and made me able to sympathize with them. I found that making personal connections to issues I encountered in the world allowed me to see the often hidden side of situations. With this ability I was able to gain a great perspective of human beings and life in general.

I believe no actions anyone can make can be dismissed with labels such as “good” or “bad”, “righteous” or “evil”. Those words carry no weight with me. I believe in freedom and I believe in laws and justice and the beautifully intricate discrepancies between the two. To me there is simply cause and effect; all actions have reactions plain and simple. Life consists of a never-ending cycle of actions and reactions and nothing I or anyone else does will ever change that. The grief, hate and misery that morals and ethics cause I enjoy approaching like scientist, sterile and analytical. Releasing myself from my preconceived ideas was no easy matter as one might imagine. Hearing the judgements so many people had on other people’s pain or joy seemed so contrived and trivial once I was able to let go. As with my preconceptions, the idea of expectations left me early on, after realizing my attempts to cling to them were futile. Today I strive to live my life as an explorer who has found a new world, open to all experiences and endeavors. I live my life in the constant search for knowledge and deeper understanding of who we are as people, for we all have our stories. This is what pushes me forward and works to excite me, in anticipation of what is next.