Freedom

There is no beginning to what I write today, since there has never been an end to what I think.its been 2 and a half years since I moved out of the hot and beautiful place and its been a very testing and difficult 2 and half years. This is not because Bangalore was bad to me but it was harsh. A harsh reality that id hoped all my life I would not have to face. The phobia of growing up is not something that I had feared for a long time. It crept up slowly through the vines of my being when I realised that freedom was where I belonged. Not in Bangalore or in Dubai Ð'...those were just places to exist in but in my experience its not where I belong, even the ultimate dream of moving to U.K where I can talk to Browning ,Lord Byron, or even William Shakespeare is still not perfection for me. Everywhere I want to be or aspire to be is only important and appealing if freedom is given to me.

There are choices in life that are so difficult to make and one better than the other, also one worse than the other. Following one particular path of choice is often hard and so we try to take both the roads but end up coming to a fork down the road. Then what? We cannot turn back because time doesn't offer us that luxury of taking back the mistakes or decisions that we made before. Well I think its well and good because people make so many mistakes in life and if we could really go back in time then people would never progress since they would keep going back to make amends in any decision, each one of us looking for perfection in our life. Perfection as we know doesn't exist.. But then why do we continue to try and achieve that unattainable perfection?? Hmm my guess is that humans are insatiable and so we just cannot be happy, we have to strive for more and more. So actually if you think about it if our thirst for life was ever quenched then perhaps we would have perfect lives since we have exactly what we wanted out of life and we are content with it.(yeah right!)

Im in a place where I have become numb to situations, since I have gone through a lot of ego bashing and realities of life at this age. I left home when I was 17 and now I realise I didn't just leave my home but I also left my innocence and my naivety. I certainly don't regret anything, im thankful for all my experiences, people, circumstances, tests that were posed to me. But sometimes I wonder how it would be if I would have handled them differently. Would I be a better