Here I Am

Our Father who art in Heaven..."

YES?"

Don't interrupt me. I'm praying...

BUT YOU CALLED ME."

Called you? I didn't call you. I'm praying. Our Father who art in

Heaven..."

THERE YOU DID IT AGAIN."

Did What?"

CALLED ME. YOU SAID, "OUR FATHER WHO ART IN HEAVEN...".

HERE AM I. WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND?"

But I didn't mean anything by it. I was, you know, just saying my prayers

for the day.I always say the Lord's Prayer. Makes me feel good, kind of

like getting my duty done. "

ALL RIGHT. GO ON."

Hallowed be thy name."

HOLD IT. WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT?" By what?"

BY "HALLOWED BE THY NAME."

It means...it means...good grief, I don't know what it means. How

should I know? Its just part of the prayer. By the way, what

does it mean?"

IT MEANS "HONORED," "HOLY", "WONDERFUL"."

Hey, that makes sense. I never thought about what

Hallowed meant before. Thy Kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as

it is in Heaven."

DO YOU REALLY MEAN THAT?"

Sure, why not?"

WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT?"

Do? Nothing, I guess. I just think it would be neat if you got control of

everything down here like you have up there."

HAVE I GOT CONTROL OF YOU?" Well, I go to church."

THAT ISN'T WHAT I ASKED YOU. WHAT ABOUT THAT HABIT OF

LUST YOU HAVE? AND YOUR BAD TEMPER? YOU'VE REALLY GOT A PROBLEM THERE, YOU

KNOW. AND THEN THERE'S THE WAY YOU SPEND YOUR MONEY...ALL ON YOURSELF. AND

WHAT ABOUT THE KINDS OF BOOKS YOU READ?"

Stop picking on me! I'm just as good as some of the rest of those phonies

at the church."

EXCUSE ME...I THOUGHT YOU WERE PRAYING FOR MY WILL TO BE DONE. IF THAT IS

TO HAPPEN, IT WILL HAVE TO START WITH THE ONES WHO ARE PRAYING FOR IT. LIKE

YOU, FOR EXAMPLE."

Oh, all right! I guess I do have some hang-ups. Now that

you mention it, I could probably name some others."

SO COULD I."

I haven't thought about it until now, but I really would like to cut out

some of those things. I'd like to, you know, be really free."

GOOD, NOW WE'RE GETTING SOMEWHERE. WE'LL WORK

TOGETHER...YOU AND ME. NOW, SOME VICTORIES CAN TRULY BE WON. I'M PROUD OF

YOU."

Look Lord, I need to finish up here. This is taking a lot longer than it

usually does...Give us this day our daily bread.

" YOU NEED TO CUT DOWN ON THE BREAD TOO...YOU'RE

OVERWEIGHT AS IT IS."

Hey, wait a minute! What is this, "Criticize Me Day?" Here I was doing my

religious duty, and all of a sudden you break in and remind me of all my

hang- ups."

PRAYING IS A DANGEROUS THING. YOU COULD WIND UP CHANGED YOU KNOW. THAT'S

WHAT I'M TRYING TO GET ACROSS TO YOU. YOU CALLED ME, AND HERE I AM. IT'S

TOO LATE TO STOP NOW. KEEP ON PRAYING. I'M INTERESTED IN THE NEXT PART OF

YOUR PRAYER. WELL, GO ON."

I'm scared to."

SCARED? OF WHAT? I KNOW WHAT YOU'LL SAY. TRY ME AND SEE."

Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us."

WHAT ABOUT JOE?"

See, I knew it? I knew you would bring him up! Why he's told lies about me,

cheated me out of money... He never paid back that debt he owes me. I've

sworn to get even."

BUT YOUR PRAYER...WHAT ABOUT YOUR PRAYER?"

I didn't mean it."

WELL, AT LEAST YOU'RE HONEST. BUT IT'S NOT MUCH FUN CARRYING THE LOAD OF

BITTERNESS AROUND INSIDE, IS IT?"

No, but I'll feel better as soon as I get even. Boy, have I made some plans

for ol' Joe. He'll wish he never did me any harm."

YOU WON'T FEEL