Honesty Case

As I look back on the last 95 years of my life I cannot help but feel as though it flew right by. Honesty, although it sounds utterly ridiculous... it really does not seem as though it has been 752 billion minutes, forty seven hours, six days, and for minutes since I was born. In retrospect, though, I had quite a busy life. Things were not always the greatest. Yet, sometimes I thought they couldn't get much worse. I have watched all of my friends and family die leaving me here to make new friends (and I am always the oldest of course). Often, the death of a lifelong friend or loved one has left me feeling horribly lost and sad, wondering why I am still alive, while the people around me continue to drop like flies. The one good thing about being nine decades, two hundred sixty weeks, thirty-seven hours, 15 minutes and 13.5 seconds old is the fact that I am extremely smart.  I mean even if I would of started this adventure off a little "challenged", there would be no way in the world that anybody could make it to be ninety five flippin years old and be dumb. So, needless to say I am the smartest person that I know (living), I am smart enough to keep my mouth shut most of the time and anyone who knows me, knows that it is in their best interest to take the things I do say seriously.

So, aside from being the smartest person that everyone I know, knows (by default), I also do not look a day over fifty. I must admit life is a little rough when you look fifty years old and feel over one hundred.

I finally acquired the helicopter and the million dollars I spent my whole life asking for (EVERY SINGLE TIME anybody EVER asked me if I wanted or needed anything). Just in time to prove to my children and my grandchildren that I also meant it when I told them more than eight billion times in their lives that I wanted to live in Beliz. So, I packed as many of them at a time in helicopter as I could, put on my wonder woman outfit and teleported everyone to the land of white sand that feels like silk between your toes and ocean water as warm as the Jacuzzi tub in my old high rise.

In my thirties the whole country suffered an economic breakdown throwing most anyone who was not already right into poverty and homelessness. This pathetic show of American Political ignorance was my clue to get out of the marketing business. When I was forty two I finally grew up enough to become a bona fide, certified electronics engineer,