How I Hated Speech Class

Jonah Olson

ENGL 090-005

October 2, 2017

Paper 1

How I hated Speech Class

        The picture I drew shows how I felt in my speech class when I was trying to ad lib a whole speech about how I was applying for a job I was interested in, I had to list off different traits I learned from jobs and sports/ clubs. This speech didn’t go well because I got nervous and kept repeating myself and stuttering, I felt so alone in those long three minutes like Kingston did in her school. It felt like I was being singled out because I was alone in my presentation and it made me anxious. Although I had never had to deal with the number of struggles that Kingston had, I have learned how to express myself in other ways through my writing.

        I am a very shy person, I have struggled with this throughout my life and have learned how to deal with this but still tend to struggle with it. Throughout high school I really had issues with class presentations and coming out of my comfort shell. I would never feel comfortable at school. I would sit in the back corner of the room trying to hide from the possibility of confrontation from the teachers and the other students. I didn’t like any attention on me at all. I absolutely hated the unit at school where we had to do speeches in front of the class. Every high school student probably hates that unit but I hated it so much more. I never wanted to stand up in front of class and talk. I would do all the necessary work for the project but when it came down to the point where I had to stand up in front of the class, I would freak myself out and panic over the speech. Speech day was probably the worst day in my high school career.

        Once college started and I had to take a speech class, I kind of thought I was going to die. I don’t like to be the center of attention. I don’t like people watching me talking for a period of time, waiting for the moment where I mess up and make a huge fool of myself. I don’t like the chance of messing up in front of a large group of people. I don’t know what they are thinking about during the speech. Although they probably don’t care about what I am talking about or are really paying attention, they could be paying attention. I can see their eyes looking up at me waiting for something to happen. That’s what freaks me out the most. I don’t want to make a huge fool out of myself and have people judge me. I know that it’s a stupid thing to be worried about because honestly no one in that room probably cares about what it currently going on.  

It’s my first speech for my college class, I walk up to the front of the class, I can already see their judging eyes before I even start talking. A few of them are leaning against their hands, looking as if they are almost about to fall asleep. A couple people look up at me and give me a reassuring smile, hoping to give me some confidence. I think what’s already going their heads at that moment, he is going to mess up and make a fool of himself and we are all going to silently laugh at him. They are probably thinking about anything other than my speech, more concerned with their own lives and the issues going on there. There may be a few people here and there that are paying attention at random times. I go through the speech without looking up from my paper, trying to make my talking speed go faster so I can get the heck out of here and go back to slouching in my back corner seat. I finish my speech and the teacher gives me a nod and head back to my seat and then we were done.