Hurt of Betrayal

Katie Gordon

Malia

Eng 101

November 9, 2017

Word Count 929                

                                Hurt of Betrayal

All words have a meaning and can be used in many different context, good or bad. Words can be used to describe some of the most beautiful things and the ugliest of things. When I think of life events that have lead me to evolve and change my thoughts the word betrayal comes to mind. Many feelings can be used when this word is said.  Hurt, shattered, anger. Why can such a little word, carry such a strong feeling. The echoing sound carries such a sharp gut wrenching pain through my body, a sting that numbs the soul. A word that I can only use when describing the pain of broken trust and the loss of honesty, is that of betrayal. I thought I had shielded myself from ever having that word hurt me again, and leave that same bitterness feeling.

Going through all the motions, I still can't see how I was ever so blinded, so naive to not see it happening.  She was at first just a stranger, I would see every few weeks to get my nails spruced up. We would begin our relationship with small chit chats of town gossip, boy talk, life dramas. As the months passed our visits grew more frequent, our bond grew closer. Our small chitchats were now weekly get togethers of venting and bouncing ideas back and forth trying to improve life choices. Her latest dilemma was moving back into her grandmas and absolutely hating it. With the checking in, the loss of her independence, driving twenty minutes each way.  Being me and my big heart, I suggested she could rent out my small backroom that wasn’t being used. I mean it's just me and the girls, she would make the perfect fit into our little tribe, our little sanctuary. Weeks later, her and her tiny car were moving into my little backroom. It was great having another adult in the house, someone to hang out with. She had now grown into my little sister, and who doesn’t want a little sister?

I have always kept my circle small, my people close. If you gained the chance to venture in, you were considered lucky. That meant I treasured you and your friendship to me and my daughters. And, that’s exactly how it was. I treasured our new bonding relationship, trusted her with not only me but my daughters. We had Thursday date nights, weekends of movies and gossip, girl nights. She had grown into being my daughters' big sister, they loved her. Loved having a new big sister they could chat with, bounce ideas off, get hair tips from, swapping clothes with. She was the perfect piece to our little puzzle. She helped with the girls when I worked late, was there when I needed someone to push that little motivation. Never thought it would all disappear in a blink of an eye.

That's just how betrayal is, sneaks itself in. It comes in strong and strikes when you least expect it. First, it's tiny little lies, nothing to harmful, little lies turn into sneaking around and hiding all truth.  Three months of living with our new addition, I was caught up in little gossip of my newly found housemate and my children's father. I just laughed it off, she's like my little sister, she knows her boundaries and what lines to not cross, or so I had thought. Gossip leads to suspension which then leads to wonder, the next thing you know, you're wondering. Is that boy she's always sneaking off to see, is him. Then the trip she is planning, she’s very short and unsure of detail about, is it with him? The little detective that I have been known to be, started a little recon and within a few hours, the gossip that was being rumored, was just not that. But sadly, factual information.  My heart exploded into a million pieces, the hurt was unbearable. How could this happen, why would this happen? This girl I trusted, loved as my very own family just crushed any image of trust and care for her. But to only be replaced with a bitter, hurt, rage of anger.