Instant Fact: How to Get the Truth out of Anyone!

Instant Fact: How To Get The Truth Out of Anyone!

Compiled By: John J. Webster

Never Be Lied To Again

By David J. Lieberman, Ph.D.

St. Martin's Press, New York 1998

DD: 158.2

ISBN: 0-312-18634-7

Introduction:

In an ideal society there would be no need for lies. But we live in a world of deception. And whether you want to

play or not, you're in the game. The question is, do you want to win?

I. Signs of Deception

Once you realize that you're being lied to, should you confront the liar immediately? Usually not. The best

approach is to note the fact in your mind and continue with the conversation, trying to extract more information.

Once you confront someone who has lied to you, the tone of the conversation changes and gathering additional facts

becomes difficult. Therefore, wait until you have all the evidence you want and then decide whether to confront the

person at that time or hold off to figure how you can best use this insight to your advantage.

Section 1: Body Language

* The person will make little or no eye contact. A person who is lying to you will do

everything to avoid making eye contact.

* Physical expression will be limited, with few arm and hand movements. What arm and hand

movements are present will seem stiff, and mechanical. Hands, arm and legs pull in toward

the body; the individual takes up less space.

* His hand(s) may go up to his face or throat, especially to the mouth. But contact with his

body is limited to these areas. He is also unlikely to touch his chest with an open hand

gesture. He may also touch the nose or scratch behind the ear.

* If he is trying to appear casual and relaxed about his answer, he may shrug a little.

Section 2: Emotional States: Consistency and Contradiction

* The timing is off between gestures and words. If the facial expression comes after the verbal

statement ("I am so angry with you right now" ... pause ... and then the angry expression), it

looks false.

* The head moves in a mechanical fashion without regard to emphasis, indicating a conscious

movement.

* Gestures don't match the verbal message, such as frowning when saying "I love you." Hands

tightly clenched and a statement of pleasure are not in sync with each other.

* The timing and duration of emotional gestures will seem off. The emotion is delayed coming

on, stays longer than it should, and fades out abruptly.

* Expression will be limited to the mouth area when the person is feigning certain emotions -

happiness, surprise, awe, and so on - rather than the whole face.

Section 3: Interpersonal Interactions - When we are wrongfully accused, only a guilty person gets

defensive. Someone who is innocent will usually go on the offensive.

* He is reluctant to face his accuser and may turn his head or shift his body away.

* The person who is lying will probably slouch; he is unlikely to stand tall with his arms out or

outstretched.

* There's movement away from his accuser, possibly in the direction of the exit.

* There will be little or no physical contact during his attempt to convince you.

* He will not point his finger at the person he is trying to convince.

* He may place physical objects (pillow, drinking glass, et cetera) between himself and his

accuser to form a barrier, with a verbal equivalent of "I don't want to talk about it," indicating

deception or covert intention.

Section 4: What Is Said: Actual Verbal Content

* He will use your words to make his point. When asked, "Did you cheat on me?" The liar

answers, "No, I didn't cheat on you." In addition, when a suspect uses a contraction - "It

wasn't me" instead of "It was not me" - statistically, there is a 60% chance he is truthful.

* He may stonewall, giving an impression that his mind is made up. This is often an attempt to

limit your challenges to his position. If someone says right up front that he positively won't

budge, it means one thing: He knows he can be swayed. He needs to tell you this so you

won't ask, because he knows he'll cave in. The confident person will use phrases like "I'm

sorry, this is pretty much the best we can do."

* Watch out for the good old Freudian slip.

* He depersonalizes his answer by offering his belief on the subject instead of answering

directly. A liar offers abstract assurances as evidence of his innocence in a specific instance.

Example: "Did you ever cheat on me?" and you hear, "You know I'm against that sort of

thing. I think it morally reprehensible."

* He will keep adding more information until