Kindness Can Go a Long Way

Emily Suxo

Soc 220

10 October 2012

Research Project #1

Kindness can go a long way

In every aspect of life, United States society has developed an abundance of types of norms. Norms enable people to live effectively and be accepted into a certain group in society. They affect the daily routine of society, for example, where a person lives determines how their values will be translated into the establishment of the norms in their certain "societal expectations." Sanctions demonstrate whether or not he or she is going with or going against certain norms (Carl 52). It is important that they follow the norms set up in their society. In United States society, norms are defined strongly by rules and laws; some are unspoken, while others are apparent. He and she can be made an example by displaying "cultural relativism," in which they are observing another group's way of life without showing any obvious judgments (Carl 53). Norms are formed over time through the public aspect of the interactions people have with others, how that affects them in an academic institution, and what the Bible says about being an example in the treatment of others.

The way a person acts when meeting new people can affect positively or negatively the way the other people around them respond back. I broke an "act of kindness" norm. I took the opportunity to do something unusual in a classroom setting. Although many people are friendly and greet you with a "Hello" or "Good, and you," but usually not seeking to go any deeper. It is unusual that you get greeted when coming into a classroom with fellow peers with a shake of the hand and a sincere "Good morning," and "How are you today." This is why I decided to greet each person in my class right when they came in the door before our class session had started. I made sure I was inside the classroom before my classmates. It was during the late morning before my American Literature class. This class, in particular, is not a class I had really ever spoken up in, so it was less expected that I would greet my classmates as if I knew them all very well that morning. Actually, an odd thing that happened when I walked in already showed me that my classmates were not "norm breakers." The students from the previous class had already left, but the teacher was still clearing up some of her things from her desk. Before entering into the classroom, I asked if it was "okay" to go inside, and my classmates that were waiting outside the door told me until the other teacher leaves, they were not going in. I went inside the classroom by myself. After witnessing the actions of my classmates in staying outside, proved as an example that no matter the person, place, or thing that was happening, there were "unspoken" norms that had to be followed. I broke my norm in the Business Building on the Biola University campus. People in the hallway started to wonder what was going to happen when I asked my classmates about going inside the classroom.

Little by little, I noticed how these public displays made a difference. Shulman states "the key premises...that (a) political participation is a social activity and (b) as a social activity, [they] occur in a social context where norms are likely influen[ced]," which reinforces how social activity directly affects our own norms (533). Although here she is focusing on the effects of politics on college campuses, she ends up focusing on how we do not normally even consider the social environment we live out of daily as having a big impact on how our norms are formed. There is no limit on our social activity; we are constantly in communication with others. Also, our social lives are what determine the norms we follow. Once I was inside, all of my classmates started to observe what I was doing, but not necessarily how to come to their own conclusions about my actions. Some responded positively while others did so negatively.

Some students, I felt, were at the verge of giving me a hug because I actually showed them consideration. Others ignored me completely. As I said before, I asked each student about how they were, and mostly everyone responded in some way. Much is revealed about us through "the reactions of other people--the praise and criticism we receive--shape our behavior and how we think about ourselves, whether we like to admit it or not" (Sternheimer 47). The ones who reacted positively continued engaging me in conversation. I was speaking to one after the other, having multiple conversations and interactions. The ones who reacted negatively simply ignored the fact that I had engaged them in conversation and/or completely disregarded me greeting them. Again, the impact of the social norms is apparent. "Through the merg[ing] of three prominent areas of research (political participation, social norms, and public opinion) examines how social environments affect social context...individuals are nested in [a] social context," demonstrates how important the environment is around us and what the role it has and what role we have in the shaping of our norms (Shulman 533). The majority gave positive feedback, so that is an example that portrays our society in a good light since most of the people were eager to speak to someone new in an unexpected conversation. The positive and negative feedback demonstrated another example of how the norms in our society, and definitely in an academic institution, are in play and taken seriously. Although some seem able to adapt better depending on the situation, this example shows that others are less likely to adapt. Something different happens when these "unspoken" norms are followed and the awkward position I placed myself in when they are not.

There are definitely different aspects that are clear when speaking of how our norms are seen in an academic institution. The way we act in a classroom contrasts the way we would act in a mall. Each place in our lives has a different set of norms we live by when we are in those settings. For example, Nesdale tested various norms by "separating young children into two groups; inclusion vs. exclusion (1594)." This experiment begins to show the different possibilities that the child has in choosing his or her own norms or what the school implements, to be a part of the "inclusion group" or the "seclusion group (1596)." During the course of the experiment the "school endorses an expectation that [the] children would be inclusive and friendly toward other children, whereas the norm endorsed by one of the children's groups was that children 'should be excluding and