Long Distance Relationships

Long distance relationships have advantages

To the editor:

Joseph Blocher does not mean to sound heartless. Instead he sounds brainless and/or terminally unattached. I think that his article ("Long-distances destroy relationships," Sept. 26) was a cry for help in understanding why so many people participate in this "fundamentally wrong" activity. In his column, he points out the obvious hardships in a long-distance relationship. You can't see or touch your loved one, and doing so over the phone or computer is definitely not the same; however, Blocher's claim that one can't "get to know" or "continue to know" someone is completely off the mark. There are several advantages of a long-distance relationship.

I don't need to be near my boyfriend to make my heart beat; I have several pictures of him and my memory is not so easily erased. When we were together, we created many memories, and I look forward to making new ones. I miss holding his hand, but when we do again, it will be so much more meaningful. Delayed gratification is quite worth it. Any relationship centered around lust is not a "relationship" at all.

Blocher mentioned that courtship would be completely lacking in a long-distance relationship. In fact, it is much more creative over long distances. It has to be. Besides, dinner and a movie can become rather mundane. One of the advantages to being distanced is that I have no excuse to procrastinate. There are no distractions in the way of getting my work done. I still have friends and find time to relax, but I don't end up spending every night with my boyfriend. Now, this doesn't mean that this is "true love" or that he is "the one." We are staying together because we want to.

But the most amazing thing has happened, and this is the point that I would most like to impress. Since we have been apart, I have gotten to know him on a much deeper level. Because we are apart, we have to talk. Talking can be very difficult, exposing and intimate. It is not as if we never talked before, but there were always distractions. If a sensitive issue came up, there were ways to change the topic. On the phone, there is no getting out of the discussion. I have learned so much about myself, about him and about us, that I can declare without a doubt that this long-distance