Management of Change

Management of Change Journal

Personal/Interpersonal Change

Entry 1:

On Thursday night February 10th, I left work at 8:30 p.m. Earlier that day my boyfriend asked if I had plans to go out that night. At the time I felt tired and I said no. Once I got home my friends called and asked if I would go to Riley's with them and of course I did. I am the type of person that doesn't go out very often, because I stay so busy with school and by the end of the day I'm usually too tired. I was out having a good time with the girls, when he called and asked where I was. I told him I was at Riley's with some friends; I could tell by the sound of his voice he wasn't happy with the situation. His behavior became aggressive, and because I had been drinking I became defensive. Some of the friends I went out with that night he seems not to get along with and feels that they have a negative influence on me. The conversation ended with him hanging up on me. We both engaged in aggressive behavior, because we were yelling at each other and said some things that normally would not have been said if we would have dealt with the situation differently. I lost focus of the problem because of anger and neither of us got our point across. I should have called and let him know ahead of time that I was going out with my friends and none of this would have happened. From this situation I have learned to be more considerate towards him with my actions and communicate without saying things out of anger that occur from the situation.

The Material we covered in class relating to aggressive behavior is that we both expressed our feelings in a negative inappropriate fashion. We both also lost the message during expression because we both became angry and the point wasn't conveyed properly. He also wasn't positively influencing my behavior, because I just became angry and defensive with him.

He became aggressive when I told him where I was at, and I didn't call before I had went out to Riley's. I became aggressive when he crossed on my side of the invisible net, and said the friends I was with was a negative influence.

I learned that I need to be more responsible with my actions, like calling before I decide to go out and make plans ahead of time. Also instead of raising my tone of voice I should speak more calmly and remain more assertive.

Entry 2:

Friday afternoon February 11th I was taking a nap around 3:00 p.m. when my roommate decided to do laundry, knowing that I was sleeping, and because the washer and dryer is in my room, the least to say I wasn't happy about that idea. She bursts into my room; it seemed as if she was trying to wake me up and proceeds to wash her clothes. So I get up and say to her, "Do you need any of your laundry clean before tonight? She said no. So I told her "Is it ok if I start the laundry for you once I wake up because I am really tired?" We both engaged in assertive behavior, because we both were satisfied with the decision to do the laundry at a later time. Normally I would never have asked her to wait but I had been up late the night before studying for a test. We usually never have problems because we have known each other for so long and know when were pushing each others buttons. We have been best friends since elementary school and now were in college together so were like sisters, when we do have our disagreements their usually settled within the next hour or so. Neither of us imposed on the invisible net and we avoided negative communication.

The material we covered in class relating to assertive behavior is that we both expressed our feelings in a positive appropriate fashion. We both respected each others decisions about doing the laundry at a later time, and we were very effective in influencing each others behavior.

I feel that I was in a situation that could have been aggressive, passive or assertive. This situation was easier for me though because my roommate and I are really close and we understand each other on a level like sisters. We were both assertive so the situation was very optimistic.

I learned from the situation that being assertive isn't as hard as it seems. That communication is a whole lot easier when each person has an understanding about each others requests.

Entry 3:

On Friday February 11th our electric bill came in the mail that morning. My bank account had been over drafted for about two weeks and I had paid most of it on my own but I was still negative about $40. I hadn't planned on telling my mom about the over draft fee, but at this point I really didn't have a choice. When she called she asked if I needed any money to get groceries or if I had any bills to pay. So since she mentioned it I figured it would be a good time to go ahead and tell her the bad news. So I said; "Mom I think I'll need you to put in more money for an over draft fee." So of coarse she was really angry with me and her first reply was "You're so irresponsible, if you can't keep up with your bank account any better than that you don't need a checking account!" Then I started to get angry with her response, because she was on my side of the invisible net. I knew if I became aggressive I would regret it later on so I let her continue telling me how she felt while I remained silent. She was engaging in aggressive behavior, which I can understand why because I would be angry too. So I began to explain to her the situation and I kept my cool, after all it was my fault so I remained assertive and for the rest of the day I didn't call her because I knew it would be an argument. After I let her cool off the next day she wasn't angry with me, so the situation wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.

The material that we discussed in class relations to the conversation my mom and I had over the phone because she became aggressive by her tone of voice. I think she felt disrespected in a way and she also knew that I knew better than to overdraft. Although I feel that she was still effective in influencing my behavior, but I think that its because I remained assertive.

She became aggressive when she began telling me that I didn't need a checking account if I couldn't manage it. She invaded my side of the invisible net, but I was at fault which I realized and I still remained assertive.

Even though she was aggressive