Marriage

Marriage is the socially recognized union of two or more people. Selecting a marriage partner is very much a culturally defined process. The rules governing selection vary widely from society to society and are more often complex. How would you go about selecting a mate? Where would you begin? What criteria would you use? When we look around the world to see how other societies deal with these questions, it is clear that the ways of selecting a mate or a marriage partner has been changed from generation to generation.

In the generation where my grandparents came from, marriages were purely arranged by the elderly. Mothers or aunts usually selected a marriage partner for their sons. My grandparents got married when both of them were very young. Their marriage was purely arranged. Grandmother was only 14 years old and grandfather was 22.My grandmother was living in India with her family. There was a woman living in the same neighborhood. The woman also knew my grandparent's family, who were living in the same neighborhood. In old ages, mother or aunt finds a bride for his son. So, as soon as my grandfather finished his studies and got a job, his mom started looking a bride for him. She asked my grandmother's neighbor about a girl, who should be beautiful, charming, caring and could cook well. That's how both families met and grandparents got married .However, they did not see each other until they went in their bedroom not even in pictures. My grandmother told me, when she saw her husband first time in the bedroom, she thought of her father-in-law. She was afraid of her husband. It is because my grandfather had big beard at that time. Grandmother did not even see her father- in - law until after the next 2 days of marriage and no one told my grandmother that the groom has a beard.

After marriage, their lives became very changed. Love and romance was filled in their lives. My grandmother was a house wife so she spent all her time with her husband after the wedding. However, my grandmother was a very shy woman. She gave very much respect to her husband throughout her life. At that time, respect for a husband was considered the most important thing infront of a wife. My grandmother was too young to be married. However, she became pregnant in the first month after marriage. Both of my grandparents told me that they were extremely respectable, loving and caring to each other. They never went out for a date and never saw each other till marriage .But after marriage; they used to go in a part nearby their home. Where they sit and talk in a romantic environment. Their real romance and true love started after the marriage.

In the generation, where my parents came from, marriages were no longer remaining purely arranged. However, my parents got an arranged marriage. Both of my parents' families were settled in the city of Karachi. There, my dad's father started a business. One day my mom's father went out at his business place. He met with my father there. My mother's father liked him and invited his family at home. In this way both families got a good family relationship. My dad's parents saw my mom at her home. She was 19 and very beautiful. She was in 11th grade. My father was 26 years old at that time. My father saw my mom and liked her. But my mom could not see her at that moment. My grandmother showed her my father's picture and asked her if she is interested in getting married with him. My mom said to do what they like to do. So, both of their parents fixed the date for their engagement. My grandmother told me that 4 months later after the engagement, there was an engagement of my mom's brother. The party was going on at my mom's house. My father was also invited and asked my mom to sit in the car. However, my mom was very shy and did not answer him. Then her mother asked her to go out with him for sometime. They went out for half hour. They had some ice cream and my father talked to her in the car. My mom was wearing dark blue suit. She had beautiful long hair, very fair color and light brown eyes. She was very quite in the car and just said a word or two. When they came back