Memior Essay: Looking in the Mirror

Taylor Raisor

English 111

6/16/2014

Memoir essay

"Looking in the mirror"

        Four teen year olds live a life of fun, laughter, and tears. This is the age children think inappropriate things are humorous and small things are dramatic or life-changing. But not all childhood memories are something  people would want to reminisce about on a daily basis. For some people they use it to actually pursue and live the life they imagined but could not see through as a child.

        One memory I often find myself thinking of childhood is the simplicity. The easy essentials by which our parents line up for us or simple instruction they provide for tasks. But childhood as I knew it wouldn't be the same. What started out as my last year of middle school turned into a year that I would forever reflect back upon. It was a hot summer day when I marched through the school doors to get my 8th grade year started. Minutes ticked by and days came and went even faster. Before I knew it football season and fall had approached.  I finally got to do the one thing I looked forward to all year, being a cheerleader for my school. Nothing beat the bright lights beating down on the field with all the people from my small community rooting everyone on.

        As the leaves began to fall and the season changed so did life. As a healthy fourteen year old female I had never had any real issues. One day after cheer I took note as I found a rather large lump on my neck. This lump wasn't like anything I had every seemed to capture before nor had my mother. What a worrisome feeling we had as weeks passed without any change to this area. Doctors and lab technicians look at me as if I were fine. Months went by and they found nothing wrong with me. The fear began to drain from us as we thought we were in the clear. As a child I continued to do my lessons and attend all my school functions. I maintained life and never lost sight of it.

        Until one day my regular family physician called my house an declared that he had been thinking about me and my family. He stated that he was worried about this lump, and he demanded I get it removed and biopsied.  Just a few days shy of Christmas break I attended this so called surgery. There was so many questions and no one with answers. My best friend and I joked and named my growth buddy, I even found humor in asking if I could keep it upon removal.

        Finally my last day prior to break and still no results. I had one appointment after school though to meet with the surgeon and get this report that I was already told would be clear. I sang to my mom and dad on the way there. I had no idea what reality was or when it would hit. After all at 14 I had no worries, I was the healthy one of the family. When we arrived we signed it and waited our turn to be called. We approached the room and what a quiet feeling it was. My dad's eyes even began to water at this point I knew that the person looking in the mirror wasn't okay, something wasn't right.

        The doctor came in an laid the news on thick. He didn't miss a beat when he said the results, it was almost like a movie slow and quite as it was comprehended. How could this even be? Why was everyone crying but me? I couldn't think of questions to myself fast enough. Finally I was referred to a specialist at Riley Children's Hospital. My parents and I walked into the rather large hospital an made our way to the sign in desk. When approached by an obnoxious nurse who kept referring to me as sis we made our way to what we would eventually know as home. The doctor came in very formally and shook hands around the room he then turned to me and said "You must be Taylor" he then added "I understand you are being sent here for Hodgkin's lymphoma, a form of cancer."