Mirrorings

Mirrorings

Sure, some of us have this great confidence within ourselves about looking great, but that does not hold true for everyone. I understand the pain or disgust, or even disappointment one feels when they look in the mirror and say, "I wish I could change this or that about myself". Although this piece is written about the author's life, it holds meaning and connects with for many people; one only has to dig deep enough to find one. For me, it was to realize what is important in life can change, adapt and that we must explore our inner selves and find our own path in life.

In this piece, Grealy describes the influence of her experiences of cancer, its treatments, and the resulting deformity of her face on her development as a person. She explores how physical appearance influences one's sexual identity and over all self worth. She also explores how one's own interpretation of one's appearance can be self fulfilling. Only after a year of not looking at herself in the mirror, ironically at a time when she appears more "normal" than ever before, does Grealy learn to embrace her inner self and to see herself as more than one's looks or physical appearance.

Now that the summary is out there for all who did not get to read the story let's make some connections to everyday life. In the story is it said by the author that, "All the while I hated myself for having wept before the needle went in, convinced that the nurse and my mother were right, that I was 'overdoing it,' that the throwing up was psychosomatic, that my mother was angry with me for not being good or brave enough." (Grealy 727). Now throughout my life, being the oldest son, and brother I have always felt that I needed to set the example for the rest of my family. I've felt that I needed to be the pillar of strength to carry my family, my parents always made me believe that if I was strong then everyone else around me would benefit. Emotionally as a child I felt shut off from the world because I would be struck/scowled for crying, or even if I'd show the slightest bit of what my parent's called "overconfidence", which is basically any type of trying to feel good about my accomplishments in any form. But of course I was always expected to perform at the peak and be above everyone. For this type of upbringing I was "isolated" from the rest of my peers, emotionally detached, and felt as if I was an unwanted enigma. As it says in "Mirrorings" on page 729, "I felt that I was the only one walking about in the world who understood what was really important."

I felt the exact same in that I only thought I knew what was really important, now that I have moved out on my own, I finally understand that what is important changes with each day, each second, each human interaction. For example, in college what is important most would say is to graduate, but suppose one were to meet someone they could not live without for the rest of their life, slowly that number one priority of graduating changes to living for