Mock Convention

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Steven Gaio Narrative Essay Mock Convention It [To what does "it" refer? If a pronoun is used without first identifying for what it stands, the reader might be confused.] would be the Mock Convention that would shock and change the average day life's of American High School [do not capitalize] class of two thousand. Before, I get started for those who do not know what a mock convention is. It [What is "it"? Avoid use of undefined pronouns. ] is a running for to become president. Not like a class president, but an actual recreation of the United States of America presidential campaigning. We finished it from start to finish all done in six months. All seniors would be graded on there participation. Little did I know I was about to embark on changing the way the class of two thousand at American High School [do not capitalize] thought forever. The year was nineteen [Numbers higher than 9 are expressed in numerals] ninety-nine [Numbers higher than 9 are expressed in numerals] I had been going to American High School [do not capitalize] in Fremont, Ca for about a year and a half. Previsiouly I went to Tennyson High School [do not capitalize] in Hayward, Ca. I left all my friends everything I knew because I had to change high schools. From the first day at American I did not fit in. I did not talk, dress, or even have anything in common with these fellow students. But I stuck in there and gave it my best shot. I was well known for my abilities on the football field, but I [no comma before "but" -- the following is not a stand-alone clause] still kept to myself. It did not fit well with me the way the popular people treated the unpopular people. But were did I fit in. I did not like hanging out with the fellow jocks the cool people. And I definitely did not enjoy hanging out with the math, and chess club. That's [contractions are not appropriate in academic writing, e.g., don't should be do not] when it begun, all the government classes were brought together for a meeting. Each class had to nominate three candidates for president. One liberal candidate, one moderate candidate, and one conservative candidate. Then there would be a nomination one person to represent each group. But first everyone had to register what group they [pronoun agreement: since the antecedent (everyone) is singular, the pronoun (they) must be singular {he or she}] were in. Moderates had a total of two hundred and twenty-seven [Numbers higher than 9 are expressed in numerals] students. Liberals had two hundred and twenty-five [Numbers higher than 9 are expressed in numerals] students. Conservatives had a whopping thirty [Numbers higher than 9 are expressed in numerals] one students including me. My best my friend at American High School [do not capitalize] was Masei Satari. A fellow football player, he did not make much of football player but was a great [The word "great" is considered informal for academic writing. ] friend and student. He nominated me for conservative candidate, and he would be my campaign manager and running mate. We had a challenge in front of use. But we thought with is great [The word "great" is considered informal for academic writing. ] student skills and my people skills we could change the way every one thought. First we had to get nominated to the conservative candidate position for the whole senior class. Which we thought would not be hard since there were only thirty-one [Numbers higher than 9 are expressed in numerals] register conservative voters. The candidate I was running against was Tony Tobacco the only real composition. And a girl