My First Ride in a Cop Car

The first time I rode in a police car was about a year ago in Myrtle Beach. My friend Richard and I were there for about a week before senior week. On about our third day we found a seller of questionable goods and Richard bought some of his merchandise. Little did we know that it would come back to bite us.

On our way back to our hotel Richard, in his eternal wisdom, said, "Hey IÐ''ve got it, let's go get trashed and wander around!" Of course, I'm always one to get along. So I said, "Okay!"

We met some lovely young ladies, two blondes and a red head, that we had seen earlier on our way to a club and asked them, "Hey girls, we're headed out, you want to

come with?" The reply was not what we expected, one of the blondes, Ashlee, I believe, said "What do you boys plan on doing?" I replied, "We're probably gonna go lick shots and do some other stuff." The red head, Brianna, then says, in a definite Boston accent, "Why don't youse guys come wit us to our hotel?" I give Richard a questioning look and say jokingly, "Hey man, what if they're rapists?" Rich then gives me an "are you a dumbass" look and whispers, "Do I look like I give a fuck?"

While we were headed to the girls' hotel we saw our "friend" from earlier. He stopped us and asked, "Hey'd you guys like the stuff from the other day?" Both of us shook our heads. "Want to get some more?" this question was followed by a display of his merchandise. Richard said, "Okay hook us up." After money exchanged hands we were once again on our way.

About ten minutes later we arrived at the girl's hotel and went up to their room. As we entered the other blond, he name was Justice, casually says, "Just ignore the mess." All of a sudden, I blurt out, in my best gay impersonation, "Oh my god this is so messy!" when in reality the room was spotless. This out burst gets a very mixed response, I get laughs from the blondes, Ashlee and Justice, but I think Brianna was confused. Richard just hit me and said, "Shut the hell up man."

After a couple of hours of recreational time, Richard yells at me "Come on man, we gotta go!" We get up to leave and halfway out the door one of the girls, probably Brianna, calls after us, "Give us a ring!" I reply, "Yeah okay." On our way to the elevator, Richard goes, "That sucked!" I look at him, "Performance anxiety?" He replies, a quiet, "yeah." then "Fuck you man!"

About halfway back to our hotel Richard says, "Hold on, I have got to piss!" So he stops behind a building and pulls out a joint and says, "Want some?" I say, "You probably need it more than me, but what the hell." Little do we know while we're hitting the j a security guard in a parking lot right next to us is calling the cops. When we finish we're walking around a building and directly into the parking lot where the cops are headed. The guard, who is the biggest, mean-ass, old lady I've ever seen in my life, stops us and asks us, "Where the hell are you boys headed?" Just about five seconds after seeing her uniform Richard starts freaking out. I notice she's a security guard, so I muster as much calmness as possible and reply as respectfully as I can, "Miss, we're headed back to our hotel." Apparently this was misconstrued as sarcasm and she started toward us. That's when Rich finally freaks and turns around to run when out of nowhere three cops pull up on blue and silver, little kiddies' bicycles. I struggle to stifle my laughter, but I can't, so they just ascend on me and start