My Version of Cohabiting Before Marriage

Progressively more couples today are deciding to live together before saying "I do." Some cohabit to get to know their partner, to save money on rent, because they spend so much time together, and even for the fear of divorce. According to Linda Waite, "It's something people do that leads to somewhere," she says. "If it doesn't lead to marriage, it leads to splitsville." (qtd. In Jayson)

Although cohabiting before marriage with the intent to get married and cohabiting with no intent for marriage can lead to divorce, sometimes a relationship can end up being a successful marriage. I personally cohabited before I was married. My husband and I made a commitment that we were eventually going to get married when we moved in together. We had long, open, and straightforward discussions about our future together and the decision to get married. Where as in cohabiting realtionships with no intent for marriage do not talk about marriage and they don't have a commitment to each other. The time that couples spend cohabiting differ whether it is cohabiting with intent for marriage or without the intent. In my case my husband and I only cohabited for a month before we were married. This worked for the two of us because we were so close. We have known each other since we were children. However in relationships with no intent for marriage the raltionship could go on and on. One person could be waiting for a marriage proposal and it doesn't happen. Then they argue and end up separting. As said by YourTango expert Samantha Karlin, "living with someone without a firm eye towards marriage means that anyone can get up and leave at any time, which breeds mutual disrespect, as opposed to mutual respect." (qtd. In Fox News Magazine)

In cohabiting realtionships there is a certain profile. Persons with low levels of religious participation, and those who have experienced disruption in their parents' marriages or a previous marriage of their own are likely candidates for cohabitation. Persons with lower levels of education and earning power cohabit more often and marry less often than those with higher education. (United States Catolic Conference) When I cohabited, my husband and I wanted to make sure we were compatiable since both of our parents had rocky marriages and we didn't want ours to be like that. There are also many reasons why people cohabit. Since I already had a child from a previous relationship who the father was not involved my husband decided he would take over the responsibility of helping raise her. We were