One Tree Hill

OK, so I'm listening to this song by Nada Surf called... Always Love and there's this lyric, um, 'to make a mountain of your life is just a choice'. (pause) Well, if that's true, then lately I've been making mine into Mount Everest.

There's,... I don't know, been a lot of stuff happening and I've been letting it get to me. So,... that's what brings me here.

I'll probably just delete this anyway. Um,... OK, my dad said I should talk to someone so I'm talking to you - all of you. Where do I begin? Um, well, I-I guess until a few days ago I thought my mom was my mom and my dad was my dad.

Have you ever had something that you just, OK, you knew it was true; something you never wondered about, it was just... it just is. And then... all of a sudden, it turns out to be a lie.

OK, sorry, I know this is all probably making zero sense so maybe I should back things up and give you the 'previously on...'. Um,... when I was eight years old, my-my mom ran a red light and somebody else's mom ran into her. I mean, she went to the hospital but she died. My mom, I mean, not somebody else's. Uh, then, not long ago, she came back.

I mean, she wasn't like... like a zombie or a vampire, she was a brand new mom - Ellie, hmmm, pretty effed up, right? I mean, how do you react to something like that? How'd she think I'd handle her showing up and telling me she's my long lost mother? Did she think I'd jump for joy and invite her to a mother-daughter bake-off? Do they even have one of those?

Anyway, i-it gets worse; today I came home to find Ellie in my room. (pause) I mean, what the hell is my dad thinking? My room, you know, it's-it's the one place on the planet where I can actually feel safe. You know, I can't even tell you how angry I was when I saw Ellie holding my sketches. I just like, like flippin' threw em like it was junk mail. Anyway, I said some things and then... I started crying like a girl and I stormed out and now I'm thinking - you know, why the hell did I leave? It's my room; they should've been the ones to leave.

And, speaking of leaving, did I mention that my new mom has breast cancer? Hmm, didn't see that one coming, huh? Yeah, neither did I. But, you know what, there it is.

She's in my life, she's in my room, I'm pissed and then I find out she's got cancer. I mean, why even introduce yourself if you come with an expiration date? Hey, congratulations on having a strange new mom to bond with but better do it fast coz, um, I'm kinda of dieing(!)

(sighs) I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I know it sounds... horrible. I don't wish sickness on anybody but... I mean, it doesn't change the fact that this has all been a lot to take. So,... what happens now,... you know? Worst case, I send her away and never get to know her; best case, I'm the first girl in Tree Hill with two dead moms.

OK, and that's where... Nada Surf comes in. You know them, right? If not, just,... consider it a present coz they just released their fourth disk and that's a... lot of really good music to discover. I love that, by the way, when you find a band and you love them and then you realise you were late to the party. OK, so you weren't like the coolest kid on the block to hear it first but, by then, whatever band