Sex in the City: Kansas City Edition

Sex in the City: Kansas City Edition

For any of us who have ever experienced the harsh reality of dating, we find out soon enough that "happily ever after" does not come as easily as they do in fairy tales. The truth of the matter is we may have to exhaust ourselves with quite a few uneventful, "What was I thinking", "I must have been really desperate", rendering dates before we find our fairy tale endings. But, what if we don't ever find the happy ending we are seeking? What if there isn't a Mr. or Mrs. Right out there for us? Are we destined to be alone with a house full of cats and allergies? Before we let our anxieties overwhelm us to the point of desperation let us explore the tragedy of dating through the windows of interviews and personal misfortune to clarify the do's and don't of dating. After all, we should all be entitle to our "happily ever after".

But what does "happily ever after" mean anyway? For some of us, "happily ever after" can be as ostentatious as, prince charming riding gallantly on top of his great white steed, his dark hair rustling in the wind, his eyes twinkling like the stars against the pitch black canopy of the night sky, as he sweeps us up into his arms and holds us against his masculine chest, and tells us he has been searching for us his entire life, and then carries us away into the night with the full moon riding high above us. Or it could be as simple as a profile on an online dating service, "My ideal man has to be outgoing, intelligent, goal oriented, athletic/healthy, and love children. My ideal man has to be positive and have good self-awareness. I like my men confident, but not cocky. My ideal man is compassionate, but not smothering. Most importantly, he is my best friend. I like men who are adventurous and willing to try new things." (www.millionairematch.com, 2005) Nevertheless, no matter what we inscribe as our "happily ever after", for us singles this intangible idea of romance appears to be exactly what it was when we found it, a fairy tale. Instead, we find ourselves singing along to the lyrics, "Single bars and good time lovers were never true...hoping to find a friend and a lover...looking for love in all the wrong places, looking for love in too many faces." (Johnny Lee, Looking For Love, nd.)

Fortunately, dating does not have to be as complex as we make it out to be. Just by following a few simple rules of dating, we are well on our way to meeting the person of our dreams.

Dress to Impress

When we asked, "What physical traits do you look for in a mate?" Staci Harrison, age 33, of Kansas City answered, "He has to be clean, clean hair, clean clothes, clean teeth and clean nails. A man can be a construction worker, but someone shouldn't have to look at you and tell you what you do!" Things like "has he showered, is his hair washed and styled, are his clothes clean, does he smell nice?" are the little things that really do matter to most women. The same is true for most men. They want their date to look "hot" with freshly washed and styled hair, nice clothes and smell pretty. So before you go out on a date be sure to take some extra time getting ready. Show your date you care about your appearance and you will greatly improve your chances of dating success..

Fit As A Fiddle

Now you don't have to be a buffed body builder, but you should make an effort to stay fit. And not just for dating. Exercise not only makes you look good, but it will make you feel great as well. When someone looks good and carries himself or herself well, the opposite sex will take notice.

Individuality

People love those who are unique, someone with individuality. Do a self-analysis of yourself, what quality (or qualities) do you possess that makes you different, one of a kind. Then draw attention to that quality.

Self-Confidence

You must appear to be confident in your every move. Having self-confidence is some thing you can learn. Even if you are not too confident right now, you can pretend to be. Yes, that's right pretend to be. To appear to be confident, always look people in the eyes when speaking to them. Breathe normally, and speak in a slow controlled manner. Don't fidget. And when the other person speaks, give all your attention to them. This can be difficult at first, but the more you practice the easier it will get.

Show Respect:

Everyone wants to be admired and appreciated. If you show your date that he/she is important to you, that what he/she has to say is important to you, you will be easily in their good graces. You do this by being attentive. Make sure your date is comfortable, and content. Give compliments, find the thing that others would miss and compliment that. Really listen during your conversations. Simply admire the person you are with, show respect, make him/her feel good about his/herself and your date will always want to be around you.

Humor:

If you can make someone laugh, you will often be able to win his or her heart as well. Don't be too serious, relax, and have some fun. Laugh out loud and your date will laugh along with you. Be happy, be funny, and love life.

Now that you have mastered some of the basic rules of dating, you will want to know where to meet other singles. Singles have been known to try several different venues to look for their dream mate. The most popular have been online dating. There are thousands upon thousands different online dating services, for those who are looking for long terms, interracial relationships, and homosexual/bi sexual.. Most sites such as Match.com and EHarmony .com have a compatibility questionnaire that facilitate with matching singles within their criteria.

If online dating is not for you, where else could you go? One man we interviewed, who has asked to remain anonymous, stated that it is best "to meet someone when you're not looking". But what about the worst place to meet people? When we asked Jackie of Kansas City where the worst place is to meet other singles, Jackie Smith stated, "Church is the worst while just going anywhere else is the best." (J. Smith, personal communication, 9/5/05) In contrast, a person who is looking for a "god fearing" (S. Harrison, personal communication, 9/5/05) mate, may find that church is the best place to meet other singles. Some people say that going to a bar or club is the worst place to meet other singles, while others may disagree. But to address the