Shoot a C on My Chin

Mick B.

Mishima's "Confessions of a Mask

Where does inspiration end and empty idolatry begin? The fine line that separates these two is what we do with our muse. After all, what good is an idea if it does not manifest itself? But does one's idea have to be seen and appreciated by the public? Or is a self-realization - with no regard to the judgment of others - more important? In Confessions of a Mask, Mishima shows us a man - Kochan - who believes the only way to survive in his society is to don a mask, hiding his unacceptable passions. This begs the question: Could these passions be used as inspiration, or are they slowly killing Kochan? Do they drive him or hinder him? Another character with this inner conflict is Spike from the series "Buffy the Vampire Slayer". In the series' fifth season, he too is trapped in daydreams that he is unable to carry out.

(Paragraph 2 - Lays out some of Kochan's specific daydreams, and what they could mean)

Early in Confessions of a Mask, Kochan explains, "My mind became like a piece of paper twisted once and attached at the ends. In essence, a circuitous loop that could neither escape from nor reflect upon itself." At this point (and for most of the book), he still suppresses his homosexual / sadistic fantasies. Without an outlet, and with no one to share his passions with, these passions would continue and grow in intensity, driving Kochan mad. In stating that his mind "could not reflect on itself", he means that without acting upon his fantasies, he could not learn anything from them about himself. Perhaps if Kochan acted out one of these sadistic fantasies, his feelings of shame would be validated and he could move on; breaking the "circuitous loop". Then again, this could have the reverse effect, and lead to a lifetime of brutal deviance. What if Kochan became a murderer? Should this be acceptable as long as the murderer is "true to himself"?

(Paragraph 4 - Lays out some of Spike's daydreams and how they relate to Mishima. Spike's obsessive fantasies about Buffy nearly drive him insane, but later break him out of the same "circuitous loop" that Mishima was in. After he earns his soul, his obsession with Buffy translates into love. Even