Stay at Home Dads

The out-dated stereotype that men are better workers than women is now more laughed at than believed. Yet, the stereotype that women can take care of the household better than a man has not changed. Extensive research proves that "house husbands" are more popular than ever imagined; they have their own websites, groups, and how-to books. House husbands are becoming much more popular, but are they being appreciated the same as house wives were.

The simple definition of a house husband is a married man who either chooses to not hold a career and assume all household responsibilities such as cooking, cleaning, bill paying, full child care, and necessary evils such as, buying stamps in the absence of their fulltime working wife. (Heiman 122) It can also be a man who does hold a career but chooses to have a "second shift" by coming home and assuming household responsibilities. At the end of 1987 15% of married men chose to become house husbands (O'Sullivan). According to the U.S. Census Bureau, there were 189,000 full-time, stay-at-home dads in 2002, up 18 percent from 1994. But dads' groups say that estimate is the result of too-restrictive criteria, and they put the number at closer to 2 million. Now, some may not consider this to be a huge leap, but take into consideration the standard of living has also grown. Also, many people still regard women as the care takers of the house, and a man assuming this job is odd and unacceptable. The option of becoming a stay at home dad might be more realistic than it seems. If a father is considering staying at home, they examine their earning power as compared to their partner's. They consider work attire (no need for power suits), as well as commuting costs (gas, wear-and-tear of the car, depreciation, extra insurance costs), daycare costs, and all the other expenses of working (Father Time).

A slight repetitive blemish is embedded along with the idea of house husbands. Women statistically make less than men; even if they are working the same job. (Nair 47) Most employers well tend to give men a better income because they are traditionally the "sole bread winner for their family." (Arendell 157) They give less to women because they believe she already has a man taking care of her and any children she has. This can easily discourage men because their well-known egos can get the best of them, especially when it comes down to the green. This also hurts men that would like to choose to stay home because they know their women will be less able to provide as they would be able to. This entails having much security and positively in choosing to be a house husband.

The following are several points on why men aren't seen as the better house care taker. Whether they are true are not is not significant here, these are just some common opinions and stereotypes that hold men back from becoming house husbands and/or embarrass the house husbands who already exist.

First, women are more nurturing to children and naturally clean (Green 40). It's unlikely that all women were born knowing the exact recipe for Chicken Alfredo or how to make your kitchen smell like oranges. Men are equally clean and nurturing. A majority of people well tell you they dislike cleaning, but it is a necessity and men can do it just as suitably as a woman. To many modern-day fathers, who are capable of and interested in taking care of their children, the hurtful term "Mr. Mom" demonstrates how little society's attitudes about fathers have changed. The idea that men cannot love or nurture a child in the same manner that a woman could is disputed because some men, as some women, lack the drive or know-how to care for a child, but the love they have for them is unending (Gill 22).

Secondly, a man being a house husband is unhealthy. Research suggests men who give up their careers to become house husbands put themselves more at risk for a fatal heart attack. The 10-year study in England found that the immense pressure of staying at home to care after children and run a household can be too stressful on a man's health. Men who described themselves as house husbands had an 82% higher death rate over the period of the study than men who worked outside the home. Heart disease accounted for most of the extra risk. The study also researched that women in high powered careers were more likely to develop heart disease than those who held in lower position jobs. The reverse of the finding for men (O'Sullivan). Researcher Dr Elaine Eaker, of Eaker Epidemiology Enterprises in Wisconsin, said the key to the problem was that some men became stressed about "the fact that they were performing a role not traditionally associated with them by society." (Eddie 70)

Thirdly, Men who do stay at home to look after the family tend not to have the same levels of support from peers, friends and family as women who choose to be house wives. Society expects the main care-giver of the house to be a woman (Nair 17). Home dads can become critically lonely. Many men grow guilty of the "under-achieving" task of caring for a family without being under the supervision of a woman. (Houchschild)

Fourthly, many men consider a house husband is extremely simple. They imagine they would just do some laundry before dropping the kids off at school then put their feet up with the a good book for the rest of the day. To their disappointment, you must perform more "multi-tasking responsibilities" than almost any man ever has ever been asked to do in the workplace. They don't see the work that most wives have solely done as being hard or in need of any praise or thanks. (Arendell)

Research also brought up several contrasting points that find house husbands benefit their home. These are opinions that could encourage a man to be a house husband or encourage someone who already is a house husband to be proud of themselves. They mostly do regard to those who have children.

"She Works, He Works--But Doesn't Get a Paycheck" (Newsweek May 2003) is a common mentality these men all share. House husbands feel the work they put into raising a child and maintaining a household is equal to the work that their wives put into at their job. They also feel they are not "house husbands" or "stay at home dads" as described before; they are "Full Time Fathers". They have schedule routines, daily tasks, and frequent surprises just as any other job. They have benefits, but it doesn't come with sick or personal days where they can sleep all day long, ignoring their tasks as some people can do when they are sick or just to lazy to go to work. (Nair 124)

Paternity leave does exist. Now more than ever before workers are requesting a paternity leave to care for a newborn or newly adopted child. In younger