The Violent Cost of Beauty

In Joyce Carol Oates’ short story, “Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?” a teenage girl named Connie finds herself home alone and confronted by a sexual predator named Arnold Friend. Throughout the story, Oates makes it clear that Connie is aware of, and somewhat intoxicated by, her own beauty. By comparing Connie’s beauty to her mother’s faded beauty as well as her sister’s lack of beauty, Oates emphasizes that Connie’s beauty is of substantial societal value. With the unwelcome arrival of Arnold Friend, however, Oates further elucidates how Connie’s highly valued beauty encourages men to objectify her and ultimately undermines her own self-worth. For while Connie is shallow and vain, she is undeserving of the violent attention that manifests itself in the unwelcome arrival of Arnold Friend. In her short story, “Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been,” Joyce Carol Oates uses the motif of female beauty to reinforce gender expectations and to elucidate how the objectification of women leads to their sexual violation by men.

From the outset of “Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been,” Joyce Carol Oates uses the motif of female beauty to show how beauty relates to value according to stereotypical gender roles. Oates depicts Connie as fully aware of the asset of her beauty. She begins by describing Connie as a fifteen year old girl who “had a quick, nervous giggling habit of craning her neck to glance into mirrors or checking other people’s faces to make sure her own was all right” (Oates, 664). Oates describes Connie as self-consciously and compulsively aware of her looks. She attempts to assess her face not only as to its own appearance, but as to how it compares to others. In this way, Oates makes it clear that Connie is constantly assessing her own value. Oates immediately contrasts this with Connie’s mother’s demeanor and appearance as she is a person who “noticed everything and knew everything and who hadn’t much reason any longer to look at her own face” (664). While Oates implies that Connie’s mother is more intelligent than Connie by virtue of her ability to “notice everything,” she also implies that she is no longer pretty for she has no reason “to look at her own face” (664). Connie’s mother “scolds” her for “gawking at” herself” and thinking that she is “so pretty” (664). Connie, however, sees her mother’s admonishments as jealousy over her beauty, for she looks past her mother and sees “a shadowy vision of herself as she was right at that moment: she knew she was pretty and that was everything” (664). Oates makes it clear that Connie is not only aware of her beauty, she is fortified by it against her mother’s reprimands. Oates is emphatic as to Connie’s understanding of her beauty for her usage of the phrase “pretty and that was everything” (664), underlines the direct connection between Connie’s value and her beauty. Again, Oates contrasts this with Connie’s mother’s beauty for she “had been pretty once too, if you could believe those old snapshots in the album, but now her looks were gone and that was why she was always after Connie” (664). Oates shows that Connie’s mother resents her daughter because Connie reminds her of the beautiful young girl she once was and the value she once possessed. In fact, she is so much less attractive now that Oates implies it may be difficult to believe “those old snapshots” (664) were ever true. In this way, Oates makes it clear that this loss of beauty is a dramatic loss for Connie’s mother for she understands that she has lost her value in society. As the literary critic Joyce Wegs asserts, “In other words, to Connie and her mother, real value lies in beauty” (Wegs, 67).

To further elucidate the relationship of beauty to stereotypical gender roles as well as the value of Connie’s beauty, Oates elaborates on the motif of beauty by providing additional contrast with Connie’s twenty-four year old sister, June. June “still lived at home” and was a secretary at Connie’s high school and “if that wasn’t bad enough . . . she was so plain and chunky and steady that Connie had to hear her praised all the time by her mother and her mother’s sisters” (664). At the old age of twenty-four, Connie’s sister is unmarried and still living at home; Oates implies this is in large part due to the fact that June is “so plain and chunky and steady” (664). June does not have the value that is being pretty. Instead, she has the low-level ability that Oates implies unattractive women have; she can do mundane tasks such as save money or help “clean the house” (664) and cook. For this reason as well as out of sympathy for her lack of beauty and inherent lack of value, June is “praised all the time by her mother and her mother’s sisters” (664). June’s mother attempts to make up for June’s lack of value by praising her. Comparatively, Connie “couldn’t do a thing, her mind was all filled with trashy daydreams” (664). Despite all this, Connie still believes that her mother values her over June because of her beauty. Through the use of female stereotypes, Oates displays the problem inherent in the value placed on beauty. Connie is beautiful, but incapable and silly. June is not pretty, but reasonably intelligent. Their mother becomes intelligent, but it has come at the cost of her beauty. Intelligent girls are not pretty and pretty girls are not intelligent. Through this heavily emphasized motif of physical beauty, Oates’ story reinforces female gender expectations: women have value because they are attractive and young, there is a correlation between their value and their looks, and there is also a correlation between their looks and their intelligence.

Oates further employs the motif of beauty and its inherent value to show how gender stereotypes lead to the objectification of women by men and how that objectification renders women powerless objects. From the moment Arnold Friend arrives in Connie’s driveway, Oates illustrates how he objectifies Connie with his familiar tone and his perception of her based upon his initial sighting of her. Oates writes that he arrives to Connie’s home as if she has been expecting him and greets her with the question, “I ain’t late, am I?” (667). To which Connie responds plainly that she does not even know him. Although Oates indicates Connie’s tone is sullen and “careful to show no interest or pleasure,” by contrast, his speech is “a fast, bright monotone” for Oates understands that he has no intention of being dissuaded by Connie’s lack of interest, because Connie has no voice in this matter (667). Arnold persists by telling Connie that she is “cute” (667) and acknowledges what it is he likes about her while confirming her physical value and his objectification of