Through the Tunnel

Marina Di

English 10

Mr. Chase

Option 2

7.1 Mon

The first day for vocation, Jerry and me went out to the beach, it was such an enjoyable thing to accompany him. Sunlight shown down, water splashed on our feet, everything seemed so harmonious, but I saw Jerry with a vacuous expression and I’m also distracted. Even though I know he has to grow up some day and he is eager to prove himself independent, I still consider he is a baby who always need my protection. I sighed, just let him stay aside of me for the last day and then I will set him free to pursue what he wants.

7.2 Tue

In this morning, I saw Jerry kept peering at that wild beach. I asked him whether to go somewhere else or not. He refused me with that unfailing impulse of contrition. Instead of being pleasantly surprised by his firmed refusal, I felt guilty for “prisoning” him on this peaceful beach, for I can sense his desperate desire for the wild beach covered by the respect to me. All of a sudden, “Of course” rushed out of my mouth. However, I soon felt regretful, how dare I pushed my precious son into danger? My heart ached painfully, it felt like someone dragged a piece of flesh from me. If only his father was here, Jerry wouldn’t be lack of father’s love and wouldn’t be so over rely on me right now. I took a deep breath, if I’m determined to be neither possessive nor lack of devotion, I have to stick to it.

I saw Jerry’s figure become more and more vague and soon disappeared in the wild beach. There might be wild rocks lay like disordered monsters under the surface. There could be so many uncertainties and dangerous under the wild beach. Will he encounter any danger? Can he possibly handle it by himself? There’s nothing I can do but kept comforting myself by thinking that he is a good swimmer and staring at the point where Jerry disappeared. I began reflecting on myself: my fear of losing my sole support lead to my overprotection. Jerry had never exposed to any failure or danger. If I really love him, I should pluck up courage and let him handle his destiny.  

When he finally came back from his beach, I found his eyes reddened. I’m angry about that, how could he do not consider his own physical condition and try to do some adventurous things? I was just about to rebuke him while he asked me to buy him a goggle with beseeching tone. My heart softened. He grabbed the googles and went off without looking at me. I feel like he started to have his own ideas and no longer consider me as his shelter. Dinner time, various of feeling just turned into a simple sentence: “Did you enjoy yourself?” I hope he sacrifices his physical condition for what he wants.