To Be Different, Be Yourself

While reminiscing on the events that happened during this year, i realized that at this very moment, I have became the person that I want to be. All the experiences that i have, and all the things that i have learned have mold into the person that i am right now. It was quite funny because i promised myself to different every single year and yet i discovered just this year that I don't really know what meant by being different. I thanked the occurrence of being confused on the thought being different because it lead me in discovering other wonderful things.

I hate change and by promising to be different is quite an ironic thing to do. Yes, it is really absurd for me to wish the exact opposite of the thing that i hate. As i admit this absurdity of myself, that is the moment that change took place. It is the moment when i finally acknowledge it to myself and i think that this is an initial step in embracing the change that i want. It is not that I don't love myself now for wanting change but i still think that there are some part of me that needs to be modify or to be improved for me to develop more and then became more productive.

After the preparation stage, the next thing is the identification of the behavior of the things that i want to change. I stop over thinking about things and let just things happen. I finally accepted that there are some things that is beyond my control so there is no need for me to depress myself that i should have not done the my all. By changing my mindset, i believe, that it had took an effect to my behavior making me act differently.

Breaking my daily routine is quite scary at first but i never expected to be enjoying it. Facing my fears made me to become an adventurous person who now wants to explore more about this world. I laugh at myself when i do something embarrassing. When a problem happens, i look at it as a challenge that would make me stronger and not a threat to my being.

I also started being open to others. I usually lock up myself in my room and i have this belief before that nobody will really understand how i feel. But isolating myself have never been a good solution but it just made me feel better. I then realized that in order to be understood, you also have to be open and to communicate. When i feel bad, i talk about it with a friend of mine and afterwards, there is some sort of a feeling of being relieved. My battles are not just me