What's Love Got to Do with It?

"What's Love Got to Do With it?"

A person may argue that love is a noun that one sees or feels. Others may argue that it is a verb that one must do to show a person in order to feel it to reciprocate it. There are many questions that linger in people's heads. The one many ask is where will one find the meaning and feeling of love? And how are they shaped by one another? According to Bell Hooks love is the extension of oneself to the needs of others (Hooks 257.). A person expresses their understanding of love in their community which is to be influenced by their understanding of their own race, religion, and identity. In several texts I have recently read, "Song For My Father" by Eric Liu, "On Building a Community of Love" by Bell Hooks, "The Other L-Word" by William Jelani Cobb, and "The Power of Marriage" by David Brooks, the authors addressed the shaping of love and community based on the factors mentioned. Through those readings it is conveyed that a person must accept and understand their background, their race, their religion, and their identity before they are able to convey love in their community.

A person will not understand what love is if they do not understand where they come from, as in their background. The community consists of two separate sectors: a living community and a learning community, their home and their school, respectively. A person's home is made up of several factors; take race as an example. If a person struggles with where they come, from they will begin to question their identity like Liu in "Song For My Father" did. Liu questioned his background as he struggled with his sense of identity in his essay "Song for My Father", as his father was struggling with a fatal kidney disease and Liu was struggling with his Chinese heritage. His struggle with himself caused him to question not only his race but his identity as well. Because they kept their father's sickness as "their family secret", Liu felt that his family fit the "Chinese stereotype" of "the Chinese mind being clannish, suspicious, haunted, obsessed with face" (Liu 269.). Liu noticed that the family started to abandon the "typically Chinese behavior" and he began to question "where do my [his] Chineseness lie" (Liu 270.). When a person comes to not only accept but love their heritage they will be able to instruct and construct love in their community.

In contrast to Liu, Cobb even though he was not secure when it came to his background, he understood the issue that affected his race. He was sure about what is causing love in his community, the African American community, to diminish. In "The Other L- Word" Cobb admired the love between African American slaves. Cobb stated how the lack of love in the African American community is now self-inflicted. In order to have love in a community people have to embrace those among their race, their background, before they attempt to embrace or slay anyone else's community. Once people in outlining communities sense a weakness and lack of support they will try to tear that weak community apart. The African Americans are depicting themselves on "black radio's airwaves" as "loveless" playing "loveless ballads" by "rappers boldly declaring themselves love-proof" (Cobb 290.). The fact that we live "in an era where baby-daddies and baby-mamas replace husband and wives", does not help the diminishing love in the African American community however it does help diminish it. "Young children laughed at slave love, but they should envy the love which kept mother and father together in life and even after death." (Cobb 293.). These young African American people are weakening love in their community by not loving their people and themselves, they have to be comfortable in their skin in order for the love in their community to flourish.

Another source of being comfortable in one's skin is being secure in their religion. When people choose a religion to follow it is not just to be at peace with god it is also to have peace within one's self. Once a person is at peace with their selves they gain another piece of their identity and they are able to love themself. Once a person loves themself they will cast that love to their community. Hooks in her interview style essay, "On Building a Community of Love", with a Buddhist teacher, Thich Nhat Hanh, as she searches for peace and her answer is Buddhism. When a person is at peace with their religion there should be "harmony and peace and understanding" "we might lose this because we are always looking outside of us" (Hooks 260.). Once people realize "love is there in the community" (Hooks 260.) they will learn to practice as a community regardless of what religious