What Was I Thinking

What was I thinking

As I sit here I can't seem to find the words to express my feelings to you in this letter. On that night I let my emotions take over my better judgment. I was ignorant in thinking of the consequences before my action. I can't deny what I did no matter how much I wish I can go back in time to fix my mistake, but unfortunately that chance will never arrive. All I can hope is that this letter will show you my sorrow and make you aware of the kind of individual I am.

I should have stopped it before things got to complicated, but actually I should have stopped it way before that; but yet I'm sad to say it did take place. The only thoughts going through my head right now is I'm so very sorry for the pain I have inflicted upon your family. I realize by me saying this word it won't undo my unjust course of action nor will it make everything ok. Because I have thought more about the recent events then I have ever given thought about anything in my life.

Honestly I feel this is the worst mistake I have ever made in my life. I have been so worried in the past month that on many occasions I have had uncertain feeling in my stomach. In the days that followed that night I did not sleep much but just lay awake thinking of what I did wrong, about my life up to now, and all the things I've strived to accomplish as well as all my goals I have set for myself in the future. And the course of action that I choose was probably the wrong one but by that time I was already way over my head. I just seemed to dig a deeper and deeper hole for myself. I was scared about all the possibilities of what could happen to the both of us. But It wasn't till right afterward did I realize what trouble I was in. And that made me scared. I had never been so frightened in my life.

As of now I have not told my parents what I have done yet. When I was back home for break I wanted to tell my parents what I have done, but I couldn't bare myself to look at my parent's face of disappointment. My parents have always had high standards of what they expected from me and I feel that I have let them down. But it is something they need to know, and I will tell them. But I feel this is something they need to hear from my voice in person and not over the phone. My mom knows something is wrong she can see that I have been down. She has been worried a lot about me asking what is wrong,