When I Was a Child

When I Was a Child

"When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child." I Corinthians 13:11. The rest of that verse isÐ'..."but when I became a man I put childish ways behind me", while I am not a man, the latter still holds to be true. It is amazing how quickly we grow, from children into adulthood, the transition almost always unknown.

From the time I was very young, people always joked that I was so much older than my actual age. I am not sure what has made me mature for age. Perhaps me and my mother being on our own since I was very young, or growing up primarily around adults Ð'...maybe it was just the way my mother treated me like I myself was a "little adult". I always thought it was so "cool" or "neat" to get to hang out with adults, or older kids, now I wish I could turn back time. Yes, I was young, and naÐ"Їve, however I was always made aware of what was going on in "the real world." Now that I am an adult the life I know is only that of the real world, with no more fairy tale endings and happily ever afters.

I always thought I had been treated like an adult when I was a child, however when I turned eighteen I learned what it meant to really be treated like an "adult"; all thought of being a child, and what life was like as a child was gone. I was told I needed to get a job; I had never had a "real" job before. I was told I needed to start applying to colleges and think more seriously about what it was I wanted to do for the rest of my life. What am I going to do for the rest of my life where I won't wind up unhappy and hating my job years from now?

I understand my mother's concern for my future, after all she had me at a very young age, and never in her wildest dreams did she imagine having a child at such an early age. She is everything to me, she's a mom and a friend, and somewhere in there it's almost as though we're sisters, however I can venture to bet she wouldn't be too thrilled about me saying that, and would correct me instantaneously. My mom is the reason I am who I am and no matter what our differences may be, I have to thank her for that. I hope to be like her when I am through growing up, maybe not an exact replica of her, but to have her strength and character, and integrity.

I first found Christ and realized that I was in this wonderful relationship with Him in 1998 when I went to an Episcopal Church camp for the first time without my mom being around or on staff. Now for the record, I was always extremely shy when I was little, you could look at me the wrong way and make me cry. However at this camp, everyone was nice to me, and I liked the girls in my cabin and my counselors, all was well. The second to last night we had a bonfire and a pre-show which was like a talent show in which people would sing, or play the piano, or cabins would do skits, I decided I would sing! I had always loved singing and I was in the Boy and Girl Choir