Why Do Females Ask Males the Question They Do?

Every day males are faced with questions that, in a females perspective, are punishable by death if answered incorrectly. Why do they do this to us and what can males do to evade them? The questions seem basic enough at first glance. When examined further, the questions are without a resolution. They are questions like "What are you thinking," "Do you love me," "Do I look fat," and "Does she look prettier than me?" We know the acceptable answers to these questions, but when faced with them a blank look comes over our faces and all intelligent thoughts exit our minds.

"What are you thinking?" The obvious answer is "I was just thinking about what a warm, wonderful, thoughtful, caring, and intelligent woman you are, and how fortunate I am to have you." Of course, that is not what we are thinking at all. If, and I emphasize if, because most of the time were not thinking anything at all, its more along the lines of "Football, sex, baseball, or how much prettier that woman is than you." These are the types of answers that can get you a nice little place to sleep on the couch.

"Do you love me?" This question always screws us up. If she ask us this she most likely loves us. This makes the answer, and delivery, all that more important. The obvious answer is "Yes," spoken with feeling. Eye contact is important. You can even change it up with "Yes, baby." Contrary to popular belief males do feel love and when we do, at least from my own experience; we let the girl know it. When we don't feel it answers like "I suppose so" come out. Here's a little tip, never use the word suppose in a sentence when talking about love. Other answers would include "That depends on what you mean by love," "Does it matter," or "Who me?" None of these should pass your lips without expecting some sort of retaliation.

"Do I look fat?" This question is another one of the biggies. A good answer would go along the lines of "Of course not!" Incorrect answers sound like "Compared to what," "I wouldn't call you fat, but your not exactly thin," "A little extra weight looks good on you," and a definite Freudian slip "I've seen fatter." Once again, what we say and what we think does not always match,