Comm 100

Hearing his name, those five common letters used in a fair amount of everyday words, can run a sudden chill down the very edges of my spine. This is not to say I may think of him often, or even to reveal that I still have romantic feelings toward the gentleman I once knew as "the love of my life." Love; a word so commonly abused it may as well be thrown in with every piece of foal language in and out of the English dictionary. Almost all of us in our short earthly lives will think they are in love. If I learned but one thing through my romantic relationship with Mr. Five Letters, it is that you must first love yourself before you can grasp the possibilities of loving another.

The coming together stages in the relationship are always the most positive. I met this past relationship at my place of work. As we so thought, the proximity of being in the same area five days a week was ideal. Initially, I expected attention and communication from my significant other. Without proper communication, the relationship will begin to falter quickly. We would find out later in the relationship just how accurate this was.

Originally, I was the affinity-seeker. This shy, introverted teen was all completely baffled with my interest in a relationship with someone so opposite. Currently I think back, and level-headedly concur that this was no way to go about finding a "soul mate." Despite what anyone may tell you, opposites do not attract. Although this may be true, at the time you couldn't have held a gun to my head and made me believe it. I timed everything completely perfectly, completely perfectly to set myself up for a downfall. If there is a problem with love, it is possibly and most dreadfully that there is always a downfall. After flirting and realizing the apparent physical attraction for each other, I used perhaps the oldest trick in the book to snag my target. I asked to see his cell phone, put my number in it, and left the rest up to him. At this point, I concluded my fair share of the initiation was done and it was up to him to respond.

As it turns out, Mr. Five Letters was interested in a romantic relationship. We soon engaged in the experimenting stage of coming together. In this stage we shared our similarities and differences, and discovered we would have to ignore the differences to continue. Why we didn't turn back I couldn't tell you, but it would be one reason why our relationship would end negatively. We did what any young and foolish children would have done, and ran with the possibilities of one day taking our grandchildren to the ballpark, and dying in each others arms. What a fairy-tale. This developed into another living lesson cultured from the relationship: Real life is not a fairy-tale.

After familiarizing ourselves with each other, we began to intensify the relationship. This was perhaps my most desired part of the experience. We interacted more with each other, focused our resources towards one another, and began to get more physical. Writing papers for each other was one thing we did often. Mr. Five Letters wrote magnificent English compositions, and I would be lying if I said I didn't do a fair share of math problems his senioritis couldn't handle. Time was another thing we began to give more often than not. Ignoring phone calls from my best girlfriends to lie in his arms for hours upon end watching reruns of the real world and the Fight Club DVD became a routine. This is where it would start, from the first date viewing Shark Tale in the movie theater, to not caring where we where as long as we where together. This stage was like a dream, feeling things I didn't know I could feel. It was like I was a schoolgirl twisting my hair and biting my nails after being told I was the most beautiful creature he has ever laid eyes on. Bonding came right alongside, as we publicly communicated that we where committed to one another. This would later become another reason our relationship would begin to become negative; we obviously didn't go over the definition of commitment.

Near the beginning I kept a lot of family issues to myself. I didn't want to self disclose entirely too much about myself for fear it would scare him off. This was probably a good idea, while there is a time and place for everything. When the trust barrier was conquered I felt sure I could reveal more of myself to this mystery gentleman. He sometimes revealed things that would scare me, not scare me off, but somehow scare me closer making me want to be with him every waking second. Sometimes I think he did this on purpose, as if he though another prince charming would pry me from his fingertips. Now and then I wish this would have been the case.

In those moments, one way we showed how much we cared was communicating similarly. We would remind each other of inside jokes and laugh excessively. Like some relationships, we did not use the odd nicknames and crazy words to exchange our love. Receiving seven hundred Starburst for Christmas was enough crazy thought for me. It was the reality that he remembered the little things that made me weak in the knees.

Those beautiful big brown eyes may have played some part in my fall. There are just some things you just can't say with words, and his eyes told stories only he and I dared to remember. Our facial expressions where very important, and often we could tell what each other where thinking through them. He knew the disappointed face like he knew the back of his hand. This sort of non-verbal communication was very important early on in the relationship. Physical aspects such as the way we dressed, our hairstyle, etc., where some other forms of non-verbal communication. After the first couple of months, being dressed to the nines didn't really seem as important because were already impressed