Parents and the Custody of Children

Parents and the Custody of Children

In today's world not many couples are staying in their marriages. Over 50% of marriages end up in divorce. Now the problem is what happens to the children? In the olden days courts would decide in favor of the mother without a second thought. But now times are changing and I think the role of primary parent is too. The fathers who, on average, do not have time to spend with the children are taking full responsibility for them. Fathers are beginning to step up to their responsibilities as fathers. They even sometimes replace mothers all together. I believe that courts should decide who the better parent is and then grant them custody of the children. They should not look at the gender of the parent or past cases.

"Feminism gets (most of the) credit" (Casstertori and Eggebeen E16)! This movement started the progression of women into the workforce. Feminists really started making ground in the 1960's and the 1970's. The generation of women who grew up in those years are now married and have children. Some of those mothers are no longer the parent who stays home with the children. They are found to be the other bread winner of the family. In some cases the woman of the house makes a larger amount of money than the man. Mothers have wanted to break free from the standard of staying home with the children and not working. Now they are in the workforce and are helping provide for their family; just like the fathers. Because of this the fathers are now expected to have half of the responsibilities of the household. This includes the children.

Many marriages these days are not forever. Over half of the marriages today result in divorce. Then it is time to divide the assets and decide where the children go. Well, the mothers now are not automatically receiving custody anymore. "In the old days, it used to be that women had to be significantly incapacitated to turn over custody to their husbands," says Geoffrey Greif, associate dean of the University Of Maryland School Of Social Work (Gardner 15). Now he fathers are gaining ground in custody battles. Casstertori and Eggebeen state that,

Demographers and sociologists say the increase in single-father homes is the result of changing social and legal trends, and different attitudes about both motherhood and fatherhood. The changes are evident in all aspects of American lifeÐ'... A census taken in 2000 "shows that there were 2.2 million households across the country in which single men were raising children. He also said this is a major rise since the 1990's. But "there are still 4 times as many single mothers as there are single fathers" out there today (B1).

Most of the time mothers are still considered the primary care giver in the household. Mothers still have that magic touch that heals all. But some mothers are giving that magic up to live in the business world. Some mothers do both and can handle that complicated task. If the mother is granted custody they often make it difficult for the father to visit his children. Sacks and Thompson said that

Custodial mothers frequently violate fathers' visitation rights and courts do little to enforce them. Some custodial mothers move hundreds or even thousands of miles away from their children's fathers, and it (is) frequently difficult for these dads to maintain regular contact with their kidsÐ'... (There are) thousands of American fathers who love children they are not able or allowed to see, and whose suffering is ignored by a society that seems capable only of denigrating fathers. (E16)

In the past, "parenting got narrowed so that it was channeled through motherhood, (but) with mothers going into the workforce, parenting is no longer gender specified"(Cassetori and Eggebeen B1).

Fathers on the other hand are the people who are never around. Some fathers practically live at work. Some fathers are absolutely wonderful with their children and can turn work mode off when they walk through the door. " Men have always felt this way but they were not going public with it. You see (fathers )Ð'...refusing job transfers and promotions (to be with their children) (Eggebeen and Cassetori E16). But others are just too tired when they get home to be bothered about the kids. That is why the courts always granted custody of the children to the mother. That is where they supposedly belonged; but not anymore. Times are changing and so is