Psy 100 - Grief Paper

Melissa Clow

PSY-100

March 19, 2017

Colin Witherspoon

Grief Paper

        At one time or another in our lives we will have to deal with a loss of a love one. We will all process the grieving one way or another. There are five stages of grieving and we will all do them doing our grieving, different cultures grieve in different ways and the impact in every stage is different in every culture.

        There are five different stages of grieving that Dr Elisabeth Kubler-Ross came up with. People do not go through these stages in any certain order. The first one is denial. Many people go through this stage. People who found out that they are dying might say “there must be a mistake.” (Axelrod, J,2017). The second stage is anger. The healthcare provider is usually the one that gets the anger taken out on them. Healthcare providers are always willing to talk to you and explain your diagnose and treatments. They will even talk to friends and family if they would like to have questions answered. The third one is bargaining. The most common one is making a deal with God or our higher power to let live longer. The fourth stage is depression. There are two different types of depression you can go through after the death of a love one. The first one is the reaction to relating to the lost and the second type of depression is more a private one where we say our goodbyes to our love ones. The fifth stage is acceptance. Most people do not get to this stage. We either do not have the chance to so this stage because they die suddenly. People that are terminally ill or elderly seem to go through stage. They will usually isolate themselves. This is not a time of happiness but it is not depression either. It is a way to get ready to pass away.

        The Chinese culture believes when a person under 80 years old dies the family puts a white cloth hanging over the door and if the person is over 80 years’ old the family puts a red cloth out hanging over the door. The family helps prepare the body for burial. There is always an older member of the family or the church to help explain to the oldest son or daughter on what to do next when preparing the body. The way they do the funerals vary depending on what type of Buddhism is practiced. (Kemp &Chang, B,2002). Most funerals are quite and personal, but there is a time during the ceremony that they burn paper money, houses, car, appliances and other necessities. This is done in the West at a temple or at the home. They also have rituals that they do directly with the family and ones they do at the public funeral. They also every seven days for seven weeks (49 days) the family members gather to pray for the soul to depart to paradise, Pure Land. When the divination sign shows that the soul has departed they stop meeting every seven day for prayer, but they do meet once a year. After five years or more they cremate the body and it is kept at home, the temple or reburied. The Hispanics/ Mexican Americans culture is not afraid of death. The family and friends will come to the house, hospital or hospice and help take care of the person dying. In some families, pregnant women and children do not attend to the sick or attend the funeral. They burn candles in means of worship and to remember the family member. Some Hispanics help clean and get the body ready for the funeral but respect for the body is always shown. Children might not participate in the funeral or the death rituals. Close family member might finally show emotion at the funeral. After death, a novena may be done (Kemp. C, 2001). This is a nine-day prayer Catholic devotion obtain special grace. Part of this prayer is to the St. Joseph, patron saint of the dying.