Psy 100 - Grief - a Natural Part of the Healing Process

Shanika Brooks

Psy-100

November 2, 2015

Prof. Laster-Loftus

Grief

Grief is defined as a natural part of the healing process one must go through when he/she encounters a loss. Grief is caused by several things such as the loss of a loved one, loss of health, loss of a pet or letting go of a lifelong dream. However, the death of a loved one can be especially tough on a person’s grieving process. Grief is a multi-faceted and normal responses to loss and can vary based on an individual experiences and the nature of the loss (Ekern, 2015). Throughout this paper, you will see how grief affect a person’s well-being. The purpose of this research is to see if Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross’ theory affects the five stages of grief, cultural influences and the impact that cultural differences may have on each stage of grief.

In 1969, Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, introduced the “five stages of grief”. Each stage was developed based on her studies of patients facing terminal illness. The first stage of grief is denial/isolation. During this stage, terminal illness patients cannot accept the fact that they have the illness or they cannot accept the prognosis of their situation. The reaction that he/she exhibit is the “why me?” They end up going to various other doctors getting the same results. Many terminal illness patients will shut out the world and try to fight and cope with their illness on their own.  Dr. Kubler-Ross stated that denial functions as a buffer after unexpected shocking news, allow the patient to collect themselves, and with time, mobilize other less radical defenses (Kubler-Ross, 1973 pg. 34 para. 1). The second stage of grief is anger. A person may feel angry with their spiritual god, feeling like they are being punished. Taking their anger out on the nurses during their hospital stay. They have a lot of questions but no answers. That’s when they began to place the blame on themselves. They isolate themselves away from everyone temporarily to blame themselves (Kubler-Ross, 1973).  The third stage of “grief” is called bargaining. This is the stage where a patient, kind of comes to grips with reality, pulled into the “cat and mouse” type of games, depending on how the patient may feel. They may bargain with you and never keep their promises. Most of the bargains are made to God or to science. In the fourth stage of ‘grief’, the patient starts to experience depression. A lot of times, people revisit areas or periods in their lives that mattered the most to them. They may talk about their achievements, their wants or needs but will also point out their lack of hope, loss, and underachievement during that timeframe as well. In the final stage of grief is acceptance. In this final stage, a patient getting prepared for the “final rest before the long journey” (Kubler-Ross, 1973). Patients often wants to be left alone, making it a little easier for them to transition into the afterlife. They make peace with their situation. Sometimes, they will seek spiritual guidance from either the hospital Chaplin or their family pastor. The five stages of grief gave us an idea of what grief is all about, the cultural influences on grief is equally important too.

Cultural heritage plays a major role in influencing the individual intrapersonal experience of grief (Cowles, 1996). Whether grief is experienced by the loss of a loved one or beloved object, grief will be experienced at some point in life. The native Indians have a ritual where they bury their deceased loved one with their belongings. They also perform funeral customs such as “Paiute”. This custom is a way for them to get together to experience grief and heal together. The family and community members of the deceased dance a specific funeral dance, while men with deep resonant voices sing ancestral songs. Each member will then hold up an article of clothing that was once worn by the deceased. The clothes will be held up to the universe to show that their loved one is journeying to the spirit world (Mora, 2009). In the Chinese culture, grief is not shown in a public matter, except for the first son. He has to morn up to 72 days. They do not show any emotion. It is understandable if the son cries and wail in front of people, because it is expected of him. They believe there are two endings for a deceased person. A happy or sad ending. If you pass within the happy ending category, people will touch you to bring good luck. If you die within the sad ending category, people will keep a safe distance from the body. The Chinese culture finds comfort in burning paper. They believe that by burning paper, you providing material goods to the deceased. Family members buy replicas of money, houses, cattle, and cars. The deceased name is written on the items before being burned. The Chinese cultures believes the right person will receive those items (Simmons, 1999). The cultural influences may have the same similarities as impaction on cultural differences in the five stages of grief.